New Month …New Possibilities

I’m not exactly counting down the days that my husband returns home, but rather learning to adjust my life while he is away . And what an adjustment it has been . I have reached a point with this situation to think about his new adventure , ” pridefully,” rather than depressed, disgusted or any of the other negative words I can insert.

However; I’m ready for a vacation . Like a real vacation one with all expenses paid . A really lavish destination too . The kind with white sand beaches, the ones where they pull back your covers at night and lay chocolates on your pillow .  A vacation within a vacation , where miraculously a nanny appears , one for each child . And she dresses them and puts them to bed and every now and then all I hear is a faint, ‘Hi Mom! Going to the…see you later.” I’m adding up my coins now so that I can make this happen this year and really,  really soon.

<img src=”” alt=”Poster, Beach, Sign, Notice, Florida, English, Warning” />

In the meantime, I’ve experienced another birthday without Anthony , our baby boy turned 4 years old . We have celebrated another holiday over the phone and we probably had our first disagreement since he left …all over the phone . Its a new part of life that I am adjusting to .  One thing I have learned throughout this process is not to complain but to give thanks for every opportunity and this new season of life.  On a lighter note his classes have started and that means that we are at least a few days closer to graduation .

<img src=”” alt=”Person, Human, Joy, Sunset, Sun, Orange” />

My girls have found their new voice in vlogs , pretty fun to see what they come up with each day.   They have the funniest personalities already . And such giving hearts. I have watched them go into church and hug each and every person they walk passed ( a trait they probably didn’t inherit from me ) and then I noticed them give away every piece of candy or gum I had in my purse. They have the same generous ways when they have people over to the house . Already they have acknowledged their place in the world  they have learned how to serve and the principle of giving . They have found their calling and  are walking in part of their purpose for life. As a parent it is my responsibility to nurture their life and their gifts.  Making an investment in your children’s life goes above and beyond clothes and shoes, investments make their dreams come alive.

My sweet second child , Pier has been one of those guys that if he found something he likes he’s there 100% for it.  When he was a tot he was really into Power Rangers and everything was about Power Rangers, he changed from that to Football and from Football to basketball. His idea is that if he’s going to do something he’s going to be the best at it . He studies it , he sleeps ,eats and breathes basketball , practicing day in and day out . Never giving up and each morning he says, Mommy I dreamed I was playing in a large arena . He can see himself bigger than he is right now   Sometimes we can take our life prompts from children, we could possibly be more successful adults.

<img src=”” alt=”Dictionary, Reference Book, Learning, Meaning” />

One thing I have learned about life is that your mind has to  be fixed and focused on all things positive . That is the only way to gain positive results. I think we as a community have focused too long on the negative issues that we face as a people for so long that we are not living up to our ability . We were not placed on the earth to worry ,to fear ,to doubt our self worth , to think constantly about dead things, to fight, to fuss or to create problems. We were placed on the earth to prosper and be in good health . It’s okay to give and serve and its okay not to be the center of attention all the time .  There is a lesson in everything . I learn something new daily.

Living and Learning


Snacks and more

So schools out for Summer and because I try  to simplify my life I have the goal to purchase child friendly snacks for the summer.  So we walk into  Walmart  Neighborhood Market with my list of things to purchase. I love the Neighborhood Market because its cheaper than the other grocery stores but it still gives you that small town feel . And it has a larger selection of foods.  Sometimes I go to the Super Walmart too because there is nothing like buying milk and some cute leggings  all at the same time . 🙂

I try to purchase food for two weeks because I frequent Wal-mart so much the people have started speaking to me by first name and yea I guess that’s ok if you like that sort of thing .  But since my husband is away in training for the Air force I don’t have time to send him there for last minute things so my lists have to be precised. Anyway I have a small list of things I need and since Wal-mart has those consistent falling prices I can get more for just a small amount of money and its usually fresh because of their consistent turn overs .  My first summer trip there we needed cheese, water, juice, crackers and then kid friendly foods. Thank God Wal-mart has cereal on a Summer Sale because its too hot for waffles  in the Summer.  I also needed to purchase snack foods,  lays potato chips,  oreo cookies , goldfish crackers, cheezits, koolaid jammers , and because any meal can easily be made by this we desperately needed Knorr pasta and rice sides.

Now I have two sets of children the  really greedy group and the super greedy group.  My super greedy group likes fresh veggies and fresh fruit so we needed fruit as well. I typically frequent the farmers market but with the prices they have on fruit at wal-mart who could resists those cherries, limes and apples.

So everyone is frazzled in the summer when it comes to feeding their kids . I have learned to not sweat the small stuff and prepare. It is true that my children may go thru a bag of cherries in one day and eat all of the twenty count of  lays in two days or half a pack of oreos in 30 minutes but its all in how you prep your family.  Kids like routines , rituals and rules.  So remember those 3 words and enforce them. First things first nothing is served unless you’re all clean. Breakfast comes first , its summer so cereal is a staple for us .  If camp is not on your schedule for the summer put your kids on a schedule . The more occupied they are the less they think about eating .  We typically eat lunch on the run , one of our favorite stops is Chickfila . We don’t always get kid’s meals because those can be pricey for 3 children on a daily bases but their menu is so vast that we can make a lunch off one meal. We love their salad’s and soups too .

We generally have one snack a day and there are those rare occasions that I am in the middle of blogging that the kids will sneak food and in those times I always have bottle water and baby carrots or even a good bag of lays chips somewhere handy. A few days out of the week I have some special things that must be done and I don’t get those opportunities to cook like marinating things and frying stuff or baking things . In those times I can always depend on Knorr pasta or rice sides. I can steam chicken breasts and add tomatoes or carrots to any of the sides for an amazing dish in just under 30 minutes give or take .

When school was in session we usually had a snack before bedtime but its summer and we need more rest in the summer because we have more sunlight . We eat later and we eliminate the snack for the night thus keeping more food in the house for the next day .  And less starving tummy’s for the morning . Somehow the earlier you put them to bed the longer they sleep . I learned this that one night I let the kids stay up passed midnight and they got into everything in the house and then woke up at 6AM.

Summer Rocks , and so does Walmart

Loving Life


And Guess What…Nobody Cares

So recently I took a media fast.  There were so many stories surfacing about shootings, murders, robberies and more that I couldn’t rest at night. I spent many nights thinking about those individuals involved, reading their facebook pages, looking at their pictures , trying to see what went wrong. And I have this one friend , we can read one line of a news report and we are emotionally involved in that families life for months. Currently we are grieving for a family that we know but not that well , and when I say grieving we have stayed up all night wondering what went wrong. So yea, I’m too involved . It’s probably something I inherited from my mother, either way I needed a break because I have my own life too.

Well yesterday I decided to open up my browser and read . I don’t just read the stories , I read the comments associated the stories. Why ? Well there is always a cousin, a close friend to the family that will comment and then you will know a portion of the family that wasn’t written in the story. So I came across two stories yesterday one involved a white lady and her daughter that were beaten by this black male and lady because they went to a restaurant and their chicken was cold.  Well the video started when the lady ( the black lady ) comes around the corner and starts to punch the other lady ( white lady) in the face and then the white lady’s daughter gets out of the truck to help her mom . Who wouldn’t help but there is this black male there and he pushes, or punches the young girl in the face and then the tape ends.  I scroll to the bottom of the page to read the comments because as a human I am both tickled ( bc there was no sound and you can add your own words to videos, yeah my sense of humor takes over a lot  ) and mortified. Like what could the woman have said to them to get their temper up so much that they chose to fight . It had to be more. Needless to say they interviewed the attackee ( not a word huh ) and not the attackers and her response was , they need to be placed under the jail.  Sympathy was coming from everywhere. Everyone was on the side of the business owner and of course no one came to the defense of the people that were fighting . I thought well… what could the business owner have said to them to push them to the point of violence it couldn’t be just about cold chicken.


Then I moved on to the local story of a bank robbery in the small town of Mantachie, MS.  Mantachie is a small town just East of where I live and the beginning of our family line . So I thought who would go to such a small town to rob a bank not only was there a robbery but the suspect shot and killed a teller and eventually she took her own life.  What could have happened to  have initiated such a terrible crime in such a small town . And then I scrolled down and read the comments ,  the suspect was full of love , she loved hard, she was a great person an asset to the community .  I was shocked even more when our local news story covered a story on the suspect.

I had to do my research at this point because I cannot remember any stories in the past that involved anyone of color that was given the same sympathy. I read on comment on the the Philandro Castro case that said …he had it coming. Who says that about an innocent person whose life was taken in front of a small child because of a busted tail light? When the tapes were released of the baby talking to her mother there was no big out pour of compassion toward that baby girl or the fact that for years to come she is going to suffer.

And then there is Bill Cosby . No I don’t think it is any way a good thing that he has drug and raped women . But at the same time why did they wait so long to tell it?  I mean they had decades to tell this information . And at the same time in real time women were popping out of everywhere telling about the sexual harassment they endured under Donald Trump, the president of the United States. Now since he’s been in office yes we have had information about his Russian prostitutes but nothing on those women and guess what no one has really said anything about that . Remember those women’s rights marches that they had across the country and people calling them idiots for marching … and then the marches died down . And then Shonda Rhimes spoke out against Cosby and I was reminded of her bleached skin and the fact that she has an entire series centered around a woman who is screwing the married President . I guess its only right to commit adultery when its mutually agreed upon even though its still wrong.

Meanwhile our community is still killing each other . We are still making a large impact in the prison system.  We are still not supporting our own . (Remember Willie Lynch and refer back to my comment on Shonda Rhimes. )We are still leading the way in health issues, obesity , unemployment , we are behind in education ,  we are still living in poverty , police are still killing us, the justice system is failing us . We are the leading consumers but we are failing at being a brand and guess what nobody cares. Its time to wake up.


I care!


Loving Life




The Church…

I am a church girl. I was born raised and given my very first job to serve in the church . My parents both were in ministry before I was born and decided to pastor a church well before I or my brothers were born. If we don’t know anything we know about church. My parents took a small salary from church a little over $50 a week . Which in the early 1980’s still wasn’t enough to take care of a family . My Dad was already employed and is still employed at the same company . Eventually my mother became a stylist . We grew up pretty comfortable in the 1980’s and 1990’s.

My father’s message never changed , along his journey in ministry he has always preached an ever increasing faith message . But life increases you , you move from level to level . That is a normal cycle of life. We moved from an apartment to a house , from a three bedroom to a four bedroom and from a 4 bedroom to a 5 bedroom.  Nothing changed but his job title and status. And eventually that $50 a month that he received from the church had dwindled to $0.

And then the 2000’s hit and the internet became popular. So did the prosperity movement . Well the prosperity movement was not something that was new to us … we had heard this message from way back when he was making that $50 a week as a Pastor. Yet as my father grew in his company the message of prosperity was attached to his life. And we didn’t mind , as a matter of fact we still don’t mind. But here lately there has been so much propaganda about Pastor’staking tithes to live off  and I felt it my need and position to address such. Remember my first job was to serve in the church, I became the executive administrator for our church . It was my duty to answer the phones , book our pastors for ministry, do the television shows and lastly I had to file the weekly offering.  I collected the envelopes after they were empty and filed them . I can assure you with my knowledge of what people actually give in the offering it would not be enough for me to purchase my rover and pay it off.  With what people give there is no way we could buy a house or pay a mortgage. Church finance is cyclical .  One Sunday its up and one Sunday its down and forget the mid week services. This is why we have fundraisers and many services. And just think if you don’t decide to give there is someone else that has decided not to give too. We work directly off donations and faith that there is someone that is willing to sow their money for kingdom work. And if you are a new church chances are their is no money saved, there is no stash of hidden money set aside for the pastor to take a trip to Mexico.

Churches are charged lights per square footage , they are charged gas per square footage, churches are also charged a different commercial fee for cable or internet. There are big expenses that go into larger churches, not just lights water and gas but you also have to have regular things like envelopes, paper towels, toilet paper , light bulbs . And we are also are prepared to hosts  weddings and funerals all free. And when someone needs their light bills paid or rent to be caught up we are that person they call . But no one complains about that .  We have to pay musicians and sometimes praise and worship singers , however unless your Dad is not the pastor you will probably get paid to be the administrator. We are the first to be judged when someone child is bullied or killed but when we invited them to church they denied the offer.

Each summer we give an open invitation for youth events and camps. They come to those for the free back to school supplies , we invite them back to Wednesday night church events and they come twice …yet we are to be blamed for situations that we have reached out to help with . The church is blamed for not going outside the four walls but no one is ever blamed for not wanting to attend. Now who’s wrong me for offering you the gospel or you not receiving it .


I may write a book on this subject. I digress

Going to Church on Wednesday and still

loving Life






Socially Speaking…Or Whatever

It was not by accident that I stumbled into the coma of social media. I mean it was what everyone was doing and it was a fun place to meet and see a lot of people that you had once met or went to high school and college with . Those early moments of social media were wonderful . I honestly don’t remember what we did on myspace besides change our pictures and add backgrounds but I reconnected with a lot of people . And then all of a sudden one day someone asked…”what’s on your mind…” And then life changed , forever .  And before you knew it, every single thing that was on someone’s mind was currently in our face . And  while some consistently posted the happier portions of life there were those who shared or shares every portion of their life. Even those unpleasant moments in a water closet.

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For several years I was intrigued by what I was seeing . I loved keeping up with my facebook friends and my twitter partners . I loved their special moments and was mad with them in their unhappy and unpleasant times.  It was exciting when people told all their business and at the same time it was quite strange . And then a few times I started dreaming about them and then they became a part of my everyday vocabulary. I was obsessed with the amount of likes I got for a picture and whether or not someone commented on my posts and when they commented how many agreed and disagreed.

One day I had a full fledged disagreement with my husband about an old , “heifer, ” who had posted on his page about our new baby.  Although his only role in this is that she was a friend of one of his family members and since he had tagged his family , SHE seen the picture and was very happy not only to congratulate on the picture but to also send him an inbox message saying the same thing and adding, ” don’t be a stranger. ”

Routinely we had arguments over who was added as friend , who crossed boundaries when they posted something. My husband and I even had arguments over Meme’s , yes about how late it was when he finally acknowledged that I sent it to him . We even cried and planned to attend funerals of people we never met but happened to be social media friends with , ahhh I was in deep .

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One morning after a horrible night of sleep and after my morning devotion and prayer time I did what I normally do , I scrolled down every social media site I had and I asked myself a simple question …, ” what were you doing before social media.”  It took me a little while to remember but I read more, I prayed more, I was more in touched with myself and what I liked. I exercised more, I ate better , I watched movies before they were reviewed online, the newspaper was common for me . I had friends that I spoke with in person , and we had outside interest. I missed a lot of pictures because I was caught up with the moment and not the opportunity to post a picture. I was home by the time I posted a picture and when I saw someone I knew,  I spoke .  I had a circle of friends. I was loyal to them , and if they made me mad we talked about it in person and no one outside of them said anything in public, well they may have but word didn’t travel that fast.  I wasn’t indirectly posting about someone and someone wasn’t indirectly posting about me because we didn’t post. And those people who weren’t in my life bc life had separated us was probably God’s will … and since His will is that I prosper and be in good health , change is inevitable.

<img src=”–ice-cube-rapper-girl-bye.jpg” alt=”Image result for bye felicia” />

Life was completely different, and although some people tend to want to live a love and hip hop type life , I chose the HGTV world where I am playing in the back yard with my children , on dates with my husband, traveling with my parents , having crazy conversations with my friends and not checking every update that comes across my phone .


Loving Life

Without Social Media…well kinda


A House…Manager

In my entire life I have not heard so many women complain or talk about tackling their housework as a struggle. How do you struggle to keep your own place together? And for a while I thought that people were just kidding and then I was invited to their houses and realized so this is an issue . And we all know that issues turn into problems. So what’s the deal , has social events and wasting time caused us to miss our opportunity to successfully manage our homes.  Or have mother’s dropped the ball in successfully teaching us how to manage a home . Was life too rapid to realize that this is a necessity for living .

Growing up , not only did my mother teach me how to be a good person, how to keep myself clean but she also taught me how to clean , wash clothes and the normal order of how to keep a house when you’re married and have kids. I’m as old as I am and I’ve been married 7 years and she’s still giving me advice and wisdom so that life won’t do me before I do it.  Life has a way of getting away from you and you have keep things in order or before you know it you’ll be overwhelmed. My mother ministered about this several years ago and since she doesn’t blog this blog is from her to you . Enjoy.

There are a few things  that people must do everyday and there are some things you do every week and then there are things you do once a month. So I have compounded a list that we all need to do in order to stay on top of life. This is called successful living . Here we go ..
<li>Make up your beds- daily</li>
<li>sweep the floors and vacuum -daily ( especially if you have pets)</li>
<li>clean bathroom-daily</li>
<li>wash clothes and fold- daily</li>
<li>dishes washed and kitchen clean after every meal/daily</li>
<li>mop/ weekly</li>
<li>dust/ every other day</li>
<li>Put clothes up/daily</li>
<li>clean children’s rooms/ daily</li>
<li>Take trash out / as needed</li>
<li>Sweep the front porch/ twice a week (especially in the fall)</li>
<li>Throw away happy meal toys and broken toys//daily – otherwise your house will look like a daycare</li>
<li>mail/ once a week and go paperless</li>
<li>garage /weekly</li>
<li>closets/monthly most clothes are disposable especially the inexpensive boutique clothing</li>
If you practice these 15 steps you will be a happier person will a more organized life. Tonight Ill post about routines.


Loving managing


and life



Dream Killers

I don’t know if I ever blogged about the fact that my son plays basketball. He was a natural who started playing ball spontaneously when he was only 2 years old . He loved the game and he seemed very interested in the game and what it was about. It was not a shock to me when he tried out for the basketball team and made it each year. He spent his first three years playing at a smaller private school transferring to his new school in the fall of 2013.

I wanted him to have a better experience with school sports so it was a pretty simple decision when his school closed that I would enroll him into a school with a larger basketball program. Peyton tried out for the team as an 8th grader and was a starter and by the end of the year he was playing some with the High School team . He had a wonderful coach that year too and he poured some great things into Peyton and not just Peyton , we watched as all the guys on that team grew and developed as athletes . We were well prepared to enter into his Freshman year. In the 9th grade he was a starting player on the Varsity team, it was a marvelous feeling to see your Freshman son get a chance to play on the High School team . He was the only black on the team but for a while that didn’t make any difference. He was enjoying the process . And then he entered his 11th grade year, same team , same coach , only thing that was different was that there was a new freshman on the team . And this Freshman had friends in high places. Well not just friends a Dad in high places and a wonderful last name to go with it. His last name managed to bench Peyton for the majority of his 11th grade year.

We spent many days upset praying and crying about the situation . See no one really realizes this but your 11th grade year alone is what sets the atmosphere for your senior year. It makes you think about life a little more because you realize you have college near, what do I want to be , how can I become successful, can I possibly get a scholarship for college? But all of this can’t happen if you don’t have the right people in your corner backing you up. Sometimes it really does take an entire village to raise a child and most of that village better be positive and proactive . We used both approaches, talking to the coach, asking questions, encouraging , praying , fasting , you know all the things that real parents do . I say we , as in my parents and myself . And for some time Peyton question even returning to the team his senior year. One night during the game he just walked off the court. I watched the tears swell up in his eyes. He stopped talking about playing ball in college, he even stopped watching basketball on television . He was totally over the call for Basketball.

At the end of school an email came thru …the basketball coach had resigned. He was no longer in the position as head basketball coach . What did that mean for Peyton ? Well his dreams of playing ball in college has dwindled. I was slightly afraid that he didn’t want to play ball this year and was secretly praying that he would come back with a fresh perspective. I walked into the gym after school one day last week to find my other son and just noticed Peyton standing and looking somewhat unconcerned and a little displaced. He had an interview with a recruiter who asked him a simple question , what do you think about Basketball, his response , I had a bad experience last season and my idea of playing basketball has changed. I needed a broom and a dust pan after I heard him say that , My heart crumbled into a million pieces. I had big dreams for him , I saw him in a place that he can no longer see for himself.

There are dream killers all around us , whether they do it consciously or unconsciously it happens. So what do we do ? First of all like I say all the time …you have to know who you are and what you are supposed to do on Earth. You need a positive support team , someone to cheer you on even when they don’t see you at your best. When they only see the potential in you and know that you can do better and be a star. Sometimes these dream killers are motivation to you to let you know that you can do better and you will succeed. But again everyone is not wired the same so its always best to be a support, when someone can’t see that the glass is half full. Dream killers try to stop your flow, they try to end your motivation they try to kill your dreams but once you recognize them for who they are you can stop and say I shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. I have often heard the preacher say, who’s report will you believe? I will believe the report of the Lord, his report says I am an achiever, I am the head and not the tail.

Speak positive things over your life daily , allow people to speak both things that may hurt you but will build you. Character is everything, purpose is fulfilling , never allow an individual to kill your future and above all…Don’t be a Dream Killer. I’m excited to give you an update on this year with Peyton, I’m only speaking positive things and we are guaranteed positive results.

Speaking Positive
Embracing the Future


Sometimes your toughest Job is being you , without any apologies. It’s also a tough job to hold your tongue in the most difficult situations. I have not always taken the high road but I’ve taken it enough to know how it feels to keep moving in the most difficult situations.

Yesterday as I was folding laundry, I began to cry and question God . It was all of a sudden and for some reason I was unable to share my experience with anyone but as I thought about life as a whole and the cycles of life and how they repeat, I was overcome with emotions. Life has a way of replacing things , people and relationships that were removed or aborted . In a lot of cases its a good thing but in some cases those replacements are not the best. I wept for the individuals that were aborted and removed because of relationships. I cried for those who were victims or circumstances , those who allowed others to persuade them , those that got off track looking back at situations that were dead .

I remember the story of Cain and Able , because of jealousy , envy and pure evilness Cain killed Abel. God gave Adam and Eve a replacement named Seth but what about replacing Cain , Cain was a restless wanderer of the Earth . He was cursed with a curse to never be able to yield a crop anymore and never have any rest. The worse part of it is that he was marked that no one could even kill him. So even in his misery of life , he couldn’t be killed and if they did kill him they would suffer 7 times worse than he had to experience. Just imagine for once how God judged every other murderer after this. Surely Cain wasn’t the exception to the rule.

Sometimes in life we feel like we make decisions and in our decisions are exceptions to rules. As if our life is perfect and without flaws, bruises and blemishes. It hurts me so badly to see someone walk through a life situation and are put down, dismissed and torn down by the very people who’ve walked through the same situation they’ve faced. There is no secret that I was a single mother, it was no secret that I had two children unmarried. It is no secret that I was embarrassed, hurt and disappointed but I survived and from that point forward I was in the position to help walk through individuals who walked through the same situation as I walked through. But even before I had my son’s I still had compassion for those who walked through the process prior to marriage. Is the sin the baby or the sin the premarital sex( different blog)? But still just bc you cannot bare a child or didn’t get caught are you the exception to the rule?

So I diverted a little bit on my subject of replacing , and removing …Let me get back to it . It is a tough job just being you . And sometimes we link up with the wrong people at the wrong times causing more burdens to our lives than blessings . Ever watched Fatal Attraction or Dateline NBC. And then sometimes we take on the roles of other people that were not divinely appointed for our destiny. Its a sad moment to see a someone who is operating outside of their God given ability. But if you don’t know you it is easy to take on roles that you want to have besides being who God designed you to be . It is also tough to be genuinely you …when other people seem to be more exciting.

Just as Cain and Abel had choices on how generously they planned to give their first fruits to God , we have choices that we must make in how we should treat one another, talk to one another , respect each other , and love each other . It is your will to love them to life or kill them with your words, the worse part of it is that they both have consequences and there is no exceptions because of age and gender.

We can read about Cain and Abel , we can read about Jonathon and David, David and Absolom, Paul and Barnabus, Jesus and Judas, Sampson and Deliliah , heck we can read about Whitney and Bobby , Brittney and Kevin or any person who has been involved in toxic situations. We’ve all been there , we’ve seen it happen but there is no exception to its ending . I choose the high road…there is no exceptions for this PK.

Loving Life