The entire month of March will be dedicated to some of my favorite shows and to tell you why I watch them and what I get from them . I know I am starting early but I want to make sure that I devote as much time to them as need be . The first show that I will talk about is Keeping up with Kardashian’s . I will probably break this down into two sections but the first one will be on Kylie Jenner.
In the early part of February when our minds and hearts were not on Kylie and wondering if she in fact had a baby bump a video was released . A seven minute video and I was there for all of it. As the video came on it showed her birth story . It was broken down into interviews from some of closest friends. They said things like …” when I found out about you …” and it goes on to a dinner party that included her baby daddy’s family . We met Chicago West in this video and finally we welcomed Stormi into the world at the end of the video. I can honestly say it was the sweetest video. I actually admired her ability to keep the entire pregnancy to herself . And the fact that when she was ready to announce she had the the opportunity to announce it on her watch . I was intrigued by the baby shower, the massive amounts of money she spent on that day alone. And that the entire time she was knowledgeable enough to put together a video for all of her fans. I took it all in , I waited the few days for her to announce the name of the baby . And because I don’t really know her baby’s father I had to look him up. Who was he ? What did he do? I wanted to know things. I was interested and though I was an college freshman when Kylie was born …I was just there for all of it .
After all of this I had to be a realist about the whole situation . It was in a quick reality checking moment that I said…Kylie is a baby Mama. But she’s not just a baby mama she’s a multi-millionaire baby mama. Which means that she has the money to afford a baby alone . She has the money to afford a (or multiple ) full time nanny. She has the ability to continue own with her life , even if she and her new boyfriend doesn’t work out.
But has she set every other girl who isn’t married up for failure? YES. I remember being 21 , unmarried and pregnant. It was horrible . And the fact that me and the father of my son couldn’t get it together was the worse. Its not even about the money because I never struggled or lacked . It was the fact that I had to somehow raise this child and know that one day I will marry someone else. He will always have a different father and there will be many days that we just won’t get along . And then one day he or I will bring someone into their life and it was up to us to accept it . Period.
I thought about all the single ladies who are doing gender reveal parties alone . All of those who want lavish baby showers and have to have them alone and those who never gets proposed to . We want to live like we are famous. Announcing the birth of our child, only posting pictures of our babies after weeks of people wanting to see the baby . We are breaking the bank for showers, clothes, baby gear just to keep up with the Kardashians and then we don’t invest in our children’s life in other ways.
Let us not forget that this lady has a make up line she and her sister have a successful clothing line and she is on a hit television show . Not to mention some of the other things that she’s doing . She owns several homes and probably a lot of other things that we don’t know about . Her life is far more vast than most of ours and bigger than some of us will ever be. Don’t let the idea of what she has become your only view in life.
Have these reality shows set us up for failure?
If I could do it all over again and knew what I know now . My bank account would have had more than $2000 in it before I had a baby . Better yet I would have waited till I was married. We need to learn how to build an empire for ourselves…even it means completing our education and getting a job. Let’s not let individuals who have way more than us become our reality causing us to only grow in some areas but not all …well basically
So my mother and I were having a conversation about relationships . And we both had differing opinions on how to handle relationships. I trust everything my mother tells me and I try to take into account what she says and live by her principles but this is one thing that has challenged me my entire life. I just don’t believe that we have to like everybody and talk to everyone just because we are in association with each other . I find it hard to devote myself to this aspect of life . I know you are wondering why I feel this way but I have a history of dealing with individuals and it started at a young age . So at this age it is just difficult to change my ways.
I’ve told you guys this before but I am the daughter of two pastors. My Dad started pastoring before I was born and before he was married to my mother . I grew up with a lot of people around me . My mother was also a hairstylist and for a few years she did hair at our home. Again I grew up with a lot of people around me. I wasn’t as sensitive to people as I am now growing up. I believed in my heart that everyone was a good person. I thought that if they were around me they were genuine. I thought if I was nice to people they would be nice to me . And then one day out of the clear blue someone told me that they didn’t like me . I was destroyed. For the life of me I don’t know why I was so devastated by one person telling me that they didn’t like me . But if you run with a group of girls and one girl hates you there is a major trickle down effect . Pretty soon nobody will like you . As a pastors daughter I wasn’t taught hate. I didn’t know how to hate , I didn’t know how to defend and I couldn’t understand why someone would just not like me. I was 4. One of my bigger cousins told me how to react to those little girls who didn’t like me ( she taught me how to roll my eyes ) . I didn’t know that these eyes could create hatred to those you were doing it to (LOL).
I went to school two years later , made a few friends . And then it happened again . What did I do? I never understood. I just learned to cope with it . I learned to just talk to everyone . Play by myself when applicable and make my way thru school. I made a few best friends throughout middle school and high school , no real lasting relationships. I had already learned in Kindergarten that people don’t have to be nice to you just because you are nice to them .So having a friends was something that was important but I learned how to cope by having general conversations with everyone. I became a pretty likable person , and though I hated school and graduated without a best friend I made it through school and the cycle started again in high school.
See I am one of those outgoing girls. I’m silly I love to laugh and make people around me laugh. But I am also okay to be alone . Because of my track record with friends I’m cautious. At least I try to be cautious. By the time I graduated from college I realized that the only people who were going to be in my life are the ones I want to be in my life. I was 22 years old when I developed that mantra for my life . I’ve felt the best when I have allowed people to enter when I want them to enter.
Now it isn’t always something that you can do when you are the daughter of the Pastor. Sometimes your choices makes people think that you don’t like them . I love everyone in my parents church . I cannot deny that but does that mean that I need to share a coke with them , does that mean that I have to be around whenever they call for the family to come in . Here is my thing about this …we are just supposed to love. There is nothing that is written that says I have to converse. This is especially important to me because people tend to change churches a lot . My parents invest so much time and attention in people and then one day they are gone , are we still friends? Do we still talk? 9 times out of ten we don’t .
I know this sounds more like a rant but its just my reality … it is what it is basically
So initially I began blogging in 2005. I had read somewhere that there were people actually making money from home blogging . I was like this is exactly right up my alley . Not only do I like to write but the fact that I could actually make money and sit on my butt was even better. So I hopped on to blogspot and started writing . At that time you could add adsense very easily and there you go. No one ever told me all of the other things that you need to do before you’re a professional. I was clueless and I only made like $5 in like 5 years . So I started to do my homework and I learned that just being a great writer isn’t the only thing you need to become a successful blogger.
This will probably be the only time I do this but I wanted to give you a quick lesson on how to blog for a living. Get your pens and pencils together and lets take a few notes .
- Do your homework. This means reading other bloggers information. Don’t be a know it all because you can never learn it all , you will always have to be a willing participant to learn. During this process things will change , rules will change . And there is someone who is always ahead of you and there is nothing wrong with that . Get on the internet , Facebook and twitter , see who’s blogging . Read it and follow it . Always ask questions. They are usually willing and ready to help you . And as long as you’re reading their blogs , they are willing to help you .
- Find your niche. People need to write about things that they can relate to the most. I hardly ever do these type post unless its in relation to relationships. I am a lifestyle blogger and mommy blogger. I deal mostly with life. You know those things that make us tick and how to effectively put on your make up when your cleaning and cooking . Make sure you are not choosing something that you hate writing about . I won’t write about make up bc I’m not obsessed with it . I won’t write about dogs because I don’t know anything about dogs. So find things that fits with your life comfortably .
- Now its time to start writing . First thing first , when you are just starting out , don’t pay for a website . You WILL NOT MAKE ANY MONEY in the beginning. So even tho someone will tell you that you will make money…you will NOT . So don’t quit your day job , make blogging a hobby for now. I recommend wordpress. You can do a lot with wordpress and there on the wordpress website site you will meet other bloggers. FOLLOW THOSE BLOGGERS. READ THEIR BLOGS. I did say make this a hobby…but you’ll need to write almost daily. And read more than you write.
- Join Social Media sites. If you are not already a part of social media, join them . The top 4 places you need to join Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. There are a few other places that are a must but these places are the best for beginners. On these sites you will find other people like you . Meet them , follow them , read their information. They will love you for this . And when its your turn to promote , they will remember you and reciprocate. Also on these sites you can post your blog pages. Relax if no one comments on them …wordpress let’s you know that they are reading them .
- So you have found groups , you are on social media and you have written like 100 blogs and you are so ready to make money. It’s time to purchase a website from a place like Godaddy or bluehost. This is an investment , why well on some of these hosting sites you will have to pay an upfront fee. So make sure that at the time you think you’re ready to make this a living you have the money to invest.
- How will I make my money back . Remember your niche I mentioned earlier , you will spend days and nights on twitter , Facebook and instagram getting your numbers ups . (This means followers and likes ) You will need consistent growth in order to make money . I mean why would I come to your page and your friends aren’t even reading them . No investor would want to invest in that either . So while you are building your brand you have to build your following too. There are several different ways to do this …one is the groups I mentioned above and there are a few others that I did not mention . Don’t buy likes and followers that never works .
- Marketing groups. I will come back to this blog and update it . But there are a few marketing sites you can join . In these sites they will give you things to promote. Sounds easy …yes if you have the followers to back this , so make sure you do that part before jumping ahead and looking into these groups .In the meantime it doesn’t hurt to reach out to some places and ask them if you can market their product . It never hurts to ask .
- Also make sure you have a great name for your blog. You will want something that is easy and catchy and something that doesn’t require a lot of typing . I’m basicallytesha and most of everything I promote has my name in it . It’s like a keychain and if someone is looking for me its simple to find.
- Don’t stress the small stuff . There are going to be a lot of people who try to discourage you . But if you believe that this is what you’re supposed to be doing . Keep moving forward and don’t allow anyone to dim your light .
- Remember to keep up with your word count when writing . I have read some blogs with five words or less. That’s not a blog , that’s a text message. Also include pictures and what not if necessary.
I really hope I have help you in your blogging journey. Happy Blogging …basically