Best Valentine Gift Ideas

 

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and though I may not celebrate the actual meaning of Valentine’s Day (well in a sense I do )who wouldn’t love a gift or two to commemorate the Holiday?February 14th only equaled into a day of love way back when young lovers wanted to get married and it was outlawed. Needless to say the stories about who started valentine’s day has changed as the years have changed and as much as I would like to give you a history lesson on the real reason we celebrate Valentine’s Day that’s not what we are here for , so let’s get to the business at hand. GIFTS!

If you’re like me practical gifts make the best gifts. So before you run out the house at the last minute to buy a teddy bear and a card please read this first. Again if you’re anything like me I don’t want a bear , I don’t read cards, I can buy myself a candy bar and well flowers grow outside. So here is a simple guide on buying the best gifts for practical people.

  1. Watch what they like.  If your spouse or girlfriend is obsessed with a certain item take note of the item . Keep up with their latest purchase and then look and see where you can buy them their next item. I’m not a collector but when I was younger my mother collected these dolls ( All God’s Children). They were a rare find , meaning you couldn’t just walk in a store and find them so if she got them it was something memorable. My Dad kept her collection growing until they were discontinued.  Also have a conversation with them about the item because there was a time I liked something and I would have rather I purchased them for myself.  Sometimes women are strange like that,  where our independent ways can get in the way of an easy gift.
  2. Lasting Gifts . I personally love these sort of gifts . One year when I was 20 years old my mother bought me a bed for Valentine’s day. I kept the bed for a number of years , it moved with me to my first home and every time I looked at it I said …I got this for Valentine’s Day and it made me super proud to say that . It doesn’t even have to be as big as a bed it could be something as small as a light fixture for a closet or a lamp for your bedroom  or a chair for your blogging desk but it should be something that will have to look on for years to come.
  3. Expensive isn’t always best. I have to confess I have expensive taste. When I go to a department store to shop my eye for fashion often gets in the way of my budget. But just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean that is best. Sometimes its just about Quality. Valentine’s is the best time to shop for Quality things at a lower price. Take advantage of those after Christmas sales! Coats for the next season is always a great investment and it won’t break the bank. Who wouldn’t want an extra coat for Valentine’s Day and guess what …it’s a lasting gift . Well as long as it stays in season.
  4. NO ONE REALLY WANTS CANDY.  I get the idea that everyone wants to get sweets for their sweet . But if its not chocolate from Switzerland or Italy I don’t want it . I have a stash of chocolate somewhere in the house and lets all face it , the candy has been in the stores since Christmas …I’d like something a little fresher. LOL  So unless your partner only eats candy once a year and this is that once, scratch the chocolate off the list . Well unless you  mean a chocolate diamond in that case head on over to Kay’s and you might find one for $24. Who knows?
  5. MOST WOMEN LOVE HANDBAGS/Shoes . If you know me well you know that I carry a good bag and I usually ( not as much as my mom) have a great pair of shoes on when I step out. You can never go wrong with a handbag or shoes. But listen do not buy any handbags from anyone’s house, if you are not shopping at a department store or ordering directly from the company it ain’t right. And just because its not a Louis Vuitton ( although I’d like a new one ) doesn’t mean its not good. Just make sure the leather is good. And it’s something that she would like . In my case I would rather have a Tory Burch or something like it .
  6. Electronics. One year when the Kindle first came out I got a Kindle for a gift.  Although I don’t use it much now , it was a wonderful gift and something that I was so proud to have. Other things you may consider is apple watches, fit bits, small tv’s for your closet, iphones , cameras (go pro)  or even an Alexa.
  7. Perfume.  It’s a simple gift  it works as long as you know what she likes.  Don’t go out experimenting and bring back something that she would hate.
  8. NO FLOWERS!  If you want flowers why not plant flowers for the spring to come , buy a tree but make it something that lasts. Wouldn’t it be a great story to tell your kids that you guys planted that tree during Valentine’s 2018. And spend years to come watching that tree grow and shade a portion of your yard that needs it.
  9. Jewelry- Every women deserves some diamond earrings and if you don’t have any by now (this is the BEST idea I’ve had yet.) here is your opportunity . Valentine’s were meant for Diamonds.  You will thank me later,  a Karat  or two will suffice .
  10. MOST UNCONVENTIONAL . 1 year supply of Starbucks ( Or your favorite Coffee shop) , A Gas Card, 1 Year of  Full Service Car Detailing, a monthly make up box subscription. A Prime subscription, Fit Stitch or Fabletics 1 year subscription, 1 year Blue Apron Subscription , 1 year subscription to POP SUGAR . Netflix Subscription paid for 1 year , I could go on.

 

There are so many different ways to show love and purchase the best things and put a smile on her face at the same time…well Basically

Tesha

Differences

So we had a snow week end  that turned into a snow week . The day before school let out I had two girls come home with a stomach ache and a sore throat. We figured that they planned this considering that the time they got home they were in a different spirit. We missed the basketball game that night and our weekly hair appointments because I feared that they may in fact be sick. By Saturday I had enough and took the kids out for a lunch date as well as a time to play . All kids need some sort of recreation , daily whether its 10 degrees outside of 100 they need that time to play . We had plans to make them tired on Saturday and it worked . We attended church Sunday morning and Sunday night my youngest daughter came down with a fever . The next morning she was still running a fever and then the baby boy was sick.

We live in a different city from where my husband works. He usually works 80 miles from home . With traffic that’s about 2 hours away . Generally if he works late it will mean that he will get home around 8:00 PM or before 7:00 PM .  This week because the South is not equipped for snow meant that he was off work for 2 days. What does this mean for me , well it means that my day still never ends, like ever.  And for the most part I am okay with that . I have gotten used to it but it’s not exactly how I expected like to be in my 30’s after I went so many years in college. So there are days that I am cynical in my approach to being a stay at home Mommy . It actually helps me manage. Meanwhile what makes me so frustrated is the people who don’t seem to understand what being a stay at home mom really means.

So when I had my daughter and lost my full time job( well kinda…long story) in the same year it was a no brainer that I would be home with then one baby , a year later another came and a year after that we had another baby. So for about 3 years we had just babies in the house. And it was not a chance that I would get out the house . Well at least for about 7 years . And in those 7 years I’ve been in charge of everything related to our household.  And in those 7 years I have not spent one night away from them. The only vacation I’ve had away from them is when I was in the hospital having them . We all know that is no vacation. I’m sitting here trying to remember a night or a date with out the kids and I cannot . I think we went out for a hour on our 5th wedding anniversary.  However the amount of time I spend with my kids cannot compare to  any job I’ve ever had . The many hours it takes me to keep the clothes washed and the groceries bought. Not to mention getting the kids to school and from school, participating in every activity from ball games to homeroom mom duties and those pesky projects add up and even a long work day for my husband can never equal out to what Mom’s do daily?

So why do we think that it is acceptable to downgrade a stay at home mother. I honestly never knew what women did who didn’t work. I imagined that they go to the mall daily , and were free to do things with their kids willfully. I didn’t know the amount of work it required to be a mother and run a house. I wonder how my mother did it and successfully ran two hair salons and a daycare center.  She maintained and in the midst of that she and my Dad teamed together and raised all 3 of us. I never once heard my Dad tell my mother , you haven’t worked as hard as me and vice versa.  But now I hear that so much …you have it easy being home with your kids. Oh so you get a break often? That must be great being home with your kids , you don’t ever have to get dressed.  Why would one assume that its so much easier being home with your kids. The easy part is being at work and letting someone else keep your kids and only having about 4 hours in the afternoon to do homework and go to bed . Imagine if you will , there is never a break in the day. Kids don’t sleep till 12 they are always hungry and then life happens. Not only are you taking care of the kids you are taking care of life. And if your husband works late hours like mine , that includes car maintenance,taking out the garbage,   house maintenance and yard work if need be. Its a fortunate situation to be in but its not to be taken lightly.

The funny thing is when I see meme’s that say if you have a good man then you shouldn’t be doing any of the things that I mentioned above . I always laugh and say well if he’s there to do all of those things it means that he doesn’t work .  Well not very hard because most of those things are done BEFORE my husband gets home from work.

So let’s stop thinking less of people who have made this as a career choice. We are engineers in our own right. We deserve tax breaks, back rubs and weekly shopping trips . Plus I still work in addition to being home .  It’s nothing wrong in accepting the fact that we do get tired too …well basically

Tesha

2017 In Reflection

I cannot remember how I entered the year 2017 . I imagine that I was in bed waiting on the clock to say 12:00 AM and worried if I would get enough sleep to make it to church the next morning. I however could have exactly prepared for what would happen in 2017 . And although I thought each moment was much more difficult than the last thing that I faced ,  I made it  and in the midst of it I realized , I’m still breathing , I’m still laughing , I still have the same smile and my family his healthy and happy. In the words of Celie from the color purple,  I’m still here. That only means one thing… I miraculously survived 2017 . And because I made it , I am thankful for every  obstacle I endured  and every successful moment I achieved in 2017.

There were a lot of life changes in the last year. My husband had joined the Air force the previous year ( I know , who does that in their late 30’s …its some wonderful advantages ) that along with his civilian job allowed us to only spend 3 full months together . I didn’t know that I would actually enjoy that moment that he left but we managed, we made it and we survived.  He will possibly do some of the very same things this year. Fortunately I won’t endure that blindly I will know what to expect and roll with the adventure.  And even though the military keeps us informed on things to do its more of a calming situation to already know what will happen before it happens.

This year I launched my first website. I have been blogging since 2006 but I never knew that it was bigger than my wordpress blog page. I never knew the road trip I would go on in just a few short months . I have really enjoyed learning ,  reading , discovering other blogs, finding people who are just like me living life and enjoying life has made my life so interesting and I have to say that it was the peak of my year. Sometimes you have to take risks and invest in your life. I am so glad that I took the risk and met so many wonderful people along the way.

One of my good friends moved out of the country . She is now a Canadian . I didn’t realize that a country that was attached to us would be so different than we are. She’s had to learn so many things from how to fill up her car to how to buy groceries using the metric system. She sent me a receipt from a normal drug store visit where she spent $60 on tylenol and rubbing alcohol.  And though we consistently talk about our gas prices at least we don’t have to spend a lot of money for simple tylenol or be forced to keep a certain amount of money in our checking account that is well beyond $5 ( LOL ) . I’m praying that she enjoys her adventure in Canada. It has already been a great adventure. And the best part is that she has made friends already. Don’t you love it when you’re easy to make friends?!

2017 marked the ending of my eldest son’s high school career. As we count down the months until he walks across the stage I cannot help but imagine the day 17 years ago when he was born . I never knew that those nights he stayed up teething and crying would only be a short time in reflection to this time in his life. I pray that he makes great choices and that his life goes above and beyond what his father and I have done.

I’m ready to take on 2018 . I pray for much success for all who reads this and for my entire family.

Loving life…Basically

Tesha

I’ve Been Nominated for the Britain Award

So excited to have been nominated for the Britain Award. What an honor and I owe it all to Louise Connor. She has an amazing blog named https://itslouloublog.wordpress.com/ . In your spare time check her out. One of my favorite blogs from her is about her Birthday . I so loved how she showered herself with love and gifts.

Also big thanks to Amber the author of BasicallyBritian for creating such and award for those like me who has a niche and would love to share it with the world. I will update this blog and add the five people that I would like to nominate for this award as well.

I don’t have a favorite blog post of my own I actually consider it like my children . I love each one of them and I want everyone else to love them as well .

Here are a list of questions that Louise asked me to share with you .

  1. What is your Biggest Pet Peeve  ? One of the things that can just ignite a fire in me is to hear someone eat. Its something that gets into the core of me and makes me hate a person that I’m actually fond of.
  2. What is your favorite way to relax? The way I would love to relax is about 3 hours away from my children with some sort of reality show on , my favorite blanket, and some sort of chocolate near.
  3. What sort of dessert or pudding would best describe you ? I would probably be a hot fudge Sunday . I’m both hot and cold and full of enjoyment.
  4. What do you hope to achieve next year? I would love to publish a book next year. I want to continue expanding my blog and increasing my blog traffic.
  5. What are you passionate about ? I want to also become a better person than I was yesterday. I think I am passionate about living the best life I could possibly live.

Births, Birthdays and More…

Image result for 17  years ago around this time I found out the sex of my eldest son. I cried, so did my mom, my dad was there he probably cried too. Not really sure if I even told his dad, I wasn’t really into being a mom and you know , whatever. That’s exactly how I thought about having Peyton…you know whatever. As long as he’s healthy and has all his digits the rest of that stuff could wait . It wasn’t just his birth I felt that way about all my kids. With the exception of PK , I was in a different place with her but I still didn’t go overboard . I never had a baby shower, we didn’t do a reveal party , we never took photos to commemorate the time I was carrying my children either . I had too much to worry about and pictures wasn’t one of it. I was too worried about not gaining a boat load of weight and still being able to eat the food I desired . LOL

But now as I am faithful to social media subscriber I have noticed all of the pump and circumstance for every event of life .  There is a party to announce the baby, a gender reveal, baby shower with every baby ( although tradition says otherwise) . We watch as they search for the perfect car seat and ask for your opinion of bottles to use . And even want advice from breast feeding to cloth diapers  and then once the baby is born they won’t even let me see it . I mean I experienced the entire pregnancy with you , to me this baby is my niece or nephew. I watched your baby grow with your social media updates , I was there when your baby was a grape and then turn into a lemon and a cantaloupe … and you wont even let me see the baby. I’ve invested time with you during this pregnancy ,  LOL

Image result for birthday tee shirts for kids

 

Can we take a moment and talk about the first birthday of this baby who already has a line of tee shirts that were made before the birth. Now when I had my first 4 children for their first birthday we did something small. Like very small , I may have invited some people from our church youth group. I purchased them a shirt from Carter’s. Bought a regular cake from Walmart with whatever cartoon character they were into and moved forward. But when I had my last son , his godmother decided she wanted to plan his birthday party. She came to me in a honest voice and said what kind of tee shirt do you want?  I was like what do you mean? Tee shirt for what?  She explained to me that we would all get tee shirts with our roles on there. I was like they cannot look at me and figure out that I’m this kid’s Mom . Why do I need a shirt to say who I am ?  And then she showed me a picture of a birthday party for a one year old and my entire world changed.  I was like what in the one year old is this? And why ?  I mean I know my parents probably had a birthday party for me , but guess what I don’t remember it . And I know back in the 80’s when my Dad was the only one working they didn’t have matching tee shirts to commemorate the day I was born. I probably didn’t even have a birthday outfit. Like I never had a birthday outfight even in my adult life. I can promise you that none of the one’s before him remembered their first birthday either .

Remember he is my struggle baby . So I only planned for some hotdogs and a cake . He was born in the summer , so we can turn on some water and he would be in one year old Heaven. Literally ! We compromised , she had a shirt made for him , bought him some Jordan’s and we had lunch at a local restaurant. Guess what ?  He remembers none of this.   I can ask his 4 year old self what he did in the last two hours and he won’t remember . You know what he will remember …the last episode of Power Rangers. He obviously doesn’t remember the last time he ate because he ( 4 years old ) just called me from his Dad’s cellphone for something to eat . AS IF I DIDN”T Just feed him . 🙁

Image result for wasting money

 

I said all of this to say sometimes we invest too much in the wrong things. At the end of the day the things that we are doing are more about us and less about that child.  Or more about what other people may think , and less about what we really want for ourselves.  The amount of money it would take to create and feed people for these parties could go toward education, sports training, or securing a future for your child oh yeah and that monthly shoe bill because their feet grow faster than weeds. I love to see kids happy but sometimes its the little things that make a lasting impression . Currently I am looking at my girls who have made a tent under a chair to watch a movie before bed. They have a princess Tent that their sweet godmother purchased for them but instead they chose a blanket as their tent. It costs nothing to make them happy …well Basically

Tesha

Sexual Misconduct

 

For the last two years or so we have read or watched the news about highly influential individuals who are in our minds guilty of Sexual Misconduct . After all you won’t file suit against anyone who is innocent. And because its something that no one should endure ever you wonder , what kept them in silence so long. And then what exactly is Sexual Misconduct? And how can we stop this , especially in the work place .  Why are we afraid to speak out ?

Just because its a new story that is gaining a lot of attention I decided to sit down with my teens from my youth group ,just to discuss some things about what a male can and cannot do to a lady. We went down a list of things that were generally things that we ( those born in the south ) typically did but now we have to be aware of it because after all it could be sexually enticing or sexual misconduct. Finally after thinking about the repercussions of even the slightest thing that a male could do to lead to some awful allegation, I just finally said …” guys just don’t acknowledge women and girls never go anywhere alone with a guy , period .”  I looked into their eyes and I thought what kind of world will they live in when it is inappropriate to open a door for a lady?

Today I took some time to read the allegations that these men faced .  And inappropriate is not the word that I would probably use. I also read Jenny Lumet’s ( Lena Horne’s Granddaughter ) letter about Russell Simmons. I took the letter , which was so professional,read it slowly leaving out any detail that we may have missed. Even though it seemed like there were some things that I wondered about  .But needless to say she got her message out . And bc she’s a lady , I immediately had compassion for her. And I felt like Russell Simmons was a horrible man that took advantage of a 24 year old woman. And then I read the end, which she said she put her clothes back on and took a taxi home .

See the beginning of the story it talks about their chance meetings, and the time he sent her 100 balloons with a silly note that said Please , Please , Please. She blew him off , thinking nothing of it. After a chance meeting with some of her friends she ran into Russell again . This time he told her he would take her home and she agreed. When she stepped into his truck , she told the driver her address, Russell said no , she said it again , and again Russell said no . Now she never mentioned if the truck was moving at that point . Now considering the nature of things and having used a car service , a truck is not going to aimlessly pull out unless it knows where it’s going . At any point she could have opened the door and got out . I sat there for the longest wondering if her decision to not leave the truck hindered her from not telling what happened for 26 years. She only gained strength to tell her story after others shared their stories.

Now her story seemed like a lifetime movie compared to some of the indiscretions caused by Matt Lauer. And then women were drugged by Bill Cosby , grouped by Donald Trump ,  Billy Bush, Ben Afflect and Bill O’reily. Harry Weinstein greeted women with a robe on , and others sent disturbing emails, awkward stares and immature words. And though I understand that this is a problem, I need to know what is sexual misconduct? And how can we stop it ?

See educating our daughters goes before they are even in middle school . I have two girls and with the clothing that is available for them has caused me to shop more sensitively for items that won’t make them appealing . I had the talk with my mother well before I left for college and I find myself having that talk with my girls. This includes how to act around their brothers. Not that I think my sons are weird its just teaching them the appropriate way to handle themselves in front of men.

We need to know how to handle these situations before they become too much and before they result into a letter.  Never go anywhere that makes you uncomfortable . Learn the buddy system. Guys think a candy bar equals a relationship, use your words and say no I don’t like you, no I’m not interested. Drive your own car, keep your phone charged.  Never walk into a room a long. Make conscious choices. Don’t drink things you didn’t pour. Never leave your friends , and if you face a tough moment RUN . And just bc an outfit looks wonderful on you , learn your limitations on how you model your outfit. I know all of these won’t always stop the inevitable but Hey these things helped me . I’m just trying to help someone …Basically

Tesha

 

So I don’t cook…Why is it a Problem

I don’t cook. Actually cooking makes me anxious. I’m too worried about how its going to turn out so it’s not a pleasant experience to say the least . Needless to say I have a family and there are times that I have to prepare food for them . Thank God they have inherited my palate and will eat anything and it doesn’t have to taste like much yet they still will enjoy. It makes me feel pretty good when they say thank you for fixing us this food . And then I get company and they say things like …did you cook that ? Can you cook? You’re not supposed to do it like that …do it like this. I then want to hand the spoon or fork over to them and say …you handle it . I’m DONE…LOL!

I kinda enjoyed my freedom of not having to become what people wanted me to become and just fall into a roll of being a wife, who cleans and cook. Although I would prefer a clean house over some smothered steaks. I have other skills and I love the uniqueness of my life. Adding another skill is just not as important . Plus my mother loves to cook and she comes up with all sorts of recipes and she has so much patience that she is currently teaching my daughters how to cook some foods. And because of this my girls think they can out cook me…go figure. And they’re only 5 and 6.

Why didn’t she spend time with me teaching me how to cook.Two things I can attribute that to, 1 She worked a lot when I was younger , and dinner was always prepared for me once I was out of school and 2. I wasn’t interested , somehow I knew that one day I would marry a man that would love to cook . God answers prayers . For a few years in our marriage my husband was the general cook for my family . I just wasn’t interested.

Every year brings about a different change . And this year something came alive in me . And no it wasn’t because my DAD keeps saying , your daughter can cook better than you . Although that had a little to do with it . I thought about being someone who really takes care of their family and what they would provide for them . Would my children remember me for the salad I made them or that entire dinner I made for them . And though I loved everything my mother fixed for me , I do cherish those things that were personally made for us by love .

So with all of that said , no I’m not going to start cooking tonight or any time this week but I can assure my thoughts of cooking have changed and I will successfully learn how to become a better cook . In January I will began a journey of cooking . I plan to make public some of the wonderful recipes that my mother has stored up from her mother . I look forward to sharing all the wonderful updates of my basic food journal.

Swallowing my pride and learning how to cook, basically

Tesha

 

He’s Home

Image result for military tokens of the united states

It has been a long 7 months since my husband set off on a new adventure with the United States Air Force . And while I’ve been very supportive of his new adventure I didn’t really understand how different life would be once he returned home. I mean my in laws are both military and they didn’t even tell me the change that I would experience once he came home for serving.

Since he’s been gone we have had

1 kindergarten graduation

2 May Birthday’s

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

2 July Birthday’s

Two Vacations

1 week end getaway

The First Day of School

New Teacher orientations, Open houses

Memorial Day , 4th of July and Labor Day

My Birthday

Halloween

And the start of the Basketball Season

He’s missed a lot . And though we spent months writing letters, exchanging pictures , and texting it’s still not the same . There was excitement and fear when I saw him for the first time in the airport. Everyone was saying , I know you’re going to be happy when he comes home , he’s going to come and help you with those babies , I know you miss him. I know he misses his kids , I know you cannot wait till he gets home .  And though all of these words were true no one prepared me for the change. No one told me he was going to be so different and there was a period of adjustment that we both had to make. No one told me that the military would turn his free spirited attitude into something else. I didn’t know that the moment I dropped him off at the Airport would be last time I would know “that,” man.

The military has taught him a lot and there is a lot to appreciated from this experience. So far he has rearranged my bathroom 5 times . He has also rearranged my closet and I can’t seem to find anything . He doesn’t hold too many conversations . He talks , gives orders, tells us what’s on his mind and then he’s done. He’s extra busy too . Always looking for something to do . And then he does it , alone . He spends a lot of time alone . I think his happy place is being alone . And I’m okay with that , but the fact that he is so rigged less emotional is the part that stings just a little.

Image result for welcome home signs

The day he finally returned to my hometown  , we visited the school to have lunch with our daughter and her teacher asked me , “is it like dating a new guy?” She was saying exactly what I was thinking. I felt like I had just picked up a new guy. And unfortunately because of our lifestyle I guess I have to stay. I can’t just say… yea on to the next . This is a time of testing for us. We are getting to know each other all over again . And though it may not be a honeymoon this adjustment is an experience I won’t take lightly. And I’m thankful that he’s finally home…well

Basically

Tesha

Can I Pause For Church …

I’m a church girl . I cannot begin to tell you how much church has been a part of my life. And the thing about it is that most bloggers don’t like to comment on posts about the church. But listen I cannot help that I was born a Pastor’s Daughter, so all I know is church .Just today be with me as I just pause for church.

As some of you know I grew up in a full gospel holiness church . We were that church that believes in speaking in tongues, dancing in the spirit. We are the radical saints, we run around the church , yell and throw things at the pastors. We clap our hands , and play tambourines during service. And it’s not unusual to find some of the strangest instruments like washboards in our churches. We had feet washing services, we use oil to anoint our heads and falling out was or is the norm.  Needless to say church has evolved. And like I mentioned before we have become more civilized. We have educated ourselves in the word. And although our prayers are still similar to those of the time of slavery we sure don’t look like we used to look . Did I mention we act different too?

I have to be honest I don’t mind that we look all that different . I must confess that if my parents church still did not believe in pants, make up and getting your hair cut, I definitely wouldn’t be serving in ministry right now . Sounds superficial but that’s bondage NOT to look normal. Or look your NORMAL. But I have to ask the question that has our changes made the church more watered down ? Are we looking too normal ? Are we too worldly?

There was a time when people just appeared in churches. We would hang out on the streets and invite and in one Sunday it was normal to have those people heed the call of God. And then they would testify , I once was lost but now I’m found. Now we use gimmicks. We actually have to give things away to get people to attend an institution that is in place  to help them . No longer are we just having prayer meetings, bible studies, youth ministry. We are currently having coffee dates, festivals, party nights and other attention getting campaigns just to get people to walk in church . Things have changed and I blame the church for the majority of the changes. And no longer are we finding lost sheep but we see more sheep transitioning from one flock to the next.

Which brings me to fact that we are a commercialized industry. My parents church comes on local television and before the time that we first aired ,  I don’t think I ever had to think about our Brand as a church before . People can and will judge you on everything and because we live in such a judgemental society so the consistency of having a proper Branding for your church is crucial. But has this allowed us as a church become more commercial and less a place of refuge , compassion and peace.

With the television as well as the internet being our source we have watched our churches evolve from this

To this

And clearly there is nothing wrong with the evolution of the church . Because all things evolve and all things change. Well all things but God. But does that make it okay to experience church without changing your life? Does that mean that the church needs to continue on without lives being changed, people being saved healed and delivered. Does that mean church is all show and lacks the anointing.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22 Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God,

Where do we go from here? When will we go back to our foundation , where church was about church and less about a brand. I’m sure I will have a part two on this , in the meantime I’m off to Pier’s basketball game.

Is the church’s evolution a good thing?

Basically Tesha

 

When Rage Builds

The older I get the more I am glad that I was born the ONLY girl in my family. Don’t get me wrong some times in my life I have wondered how life would be if I only had a sister and then I had two girls.  And I had to buy two of everything, and if it isn’t the exact same dress and around the same shoes , they are not happy . The funny thing about it is my eldest daughter hates to dress like her younger sister , who’s just 12 months younger than she . Needless to say after a day of screams and pinches , and moans and groans, I feel blessed to have been born the ONLY daughter.

My brother’s and I got into it when we were younger. There were some days that we just wanted to be alone . I didn’t want them in my room, times where we didn’t wanna look at each other , But the thing about it , all you had to say was something silly and the fight was all over.  And we really have never had problems with each other , other than the usual fights and disagreements that you have when you are siblings. The wonderful thing about it is that we never held grudges against each other. Well known that I know of and if I find out anything at this point I will stand corrected as well as not keep it going . I do believe that we have the kind of relationships that love goes further than our hate.

I said all of that to say that all of these REAL HOUSEWIVES Shows have created a false reality for regular people. We have thought too much and have created scenarios around events that aren’t a current reality for our life. We have made up stories in our heads to be mad for and many times these stories don’t even exist. We have painted a portrait of people that isn’t exactly their reality . It’s the worst feeling to be mad at someone that isn’t even thinking about you . We become angry because someone didn’t recognized you  in a car driving down the street. We are angry because someone is thinner than you, taller than you , has a better head of hair than you . And then in our minds we let the estrogen that God has put on the inside of us and abuse the rights to hold it in our bodies.Yes we are abusers of estrogen when we allow our emotions to control us.  To saturate our thoughts and consume our worlds.

I can remember a time before social media and before they were fighting on reality shows, that people just talked about you behind your back . And if they were true about the way they feel about you , they didn’t speak to you when they saw you . And if you were okay with your life and where you were going with your life , you didn’t care, life would move on . And then one day out of the blue they would start talking to you again . BUT NOW we hold things in and we wait to the most inappropriate time to have needless outbursts about things that we have held in for weeks, months and years. WHY? Well we have let rage build up in our hearts and put it on our minds . And if we are not successful at expelling waste , we end up exploding at the wrong times. We have allowed the Real Housewives, Love and Hip and other unhealthy reality shows be our compass for solving problems.

I have to tell you , I have faced some of these moments . And have said things that you didn’t know was on the inside of you . The worst part of it is, once you say it you can never take it back . And once you’ve said everything you thought you wanted to say or needed to say you then have to deal with what was said . Chances are you have made something that could have been fixed a situation that’s possibly ruined forever .  And then there are people that will look at you differently because they suddenly see a part of you that they have never seen before . Now you are in a position that you have to apologize to them and the person you hurt. Well only if you are the bigger person . Chances are you don’t apologize to anyone and then you are stuck in a place where you don’t wanna be , not trusting , bitter and possibly sick  .

Ever watch those shows snapped. When one day the wholesome housewife snaps and kills their husband , the kids and the cat. And they run away thinking that they won’t be found , feeling scared and wondering why they didn’t just take a coffee break. Yet they are found and placed in prison for the rest of their lives only because they could not control their “rageful” emotions.

Let’s take some time and think before we speak . Life is bigger than fights and outbursts and being mad at people …Basically

 

Tesha