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Let me set the scene . Church had just dismissed . I was trying to make a mad dash to the restroom , but the church was full and we could not hardly move. While completely waiting my turn to move down the aisle closer to the restroom I noticed a familiar face. I wasn’t sure if I knew her or not but since I was in church anyway I was going to speak regardless. I said hey . And there was silence. I was slightly embarrassed but I continued on . She had this look on her face like if you don’t move. At that moment I remembered exactly how I knew her. She was a facebook friend and her face was more familiar to me because she had recently been married . So I congratulated her on her recent marriage . She looked at me puzzled and gave me a shriveled …thank you.  I clinched my jaw , I didn’t expect that response and I was trying not to say the wrong thing at that moment. Instead I just looked at her  and hurried away from the energy she was giving me.

It is true that I do not know her personally but we come from a very small area . We are probably within one degree of separation here. And even if it seemed odd for someone you barely know to say anything nice to you in church at least you can use the love of God with your response. She gave me another parched response as I walked away. It left me feeling uneasy . I started thinking about how I would feel if I were greeted by someone I don’t know and then I said …well this happens everyday . I was raised to speak , use my nice southern hospitality and walk away . I was more than just a little bothered . I was perplexed.

After a few hours of thought and yes I gave it a few hours to think and process what had just happened.  I thought …you know people are not nice anymore. We are actually moving into a society where people are generally rude . There is a lack of tact and some people down right don’t know how to be cordial anymore  . And I don’t mean how to say yes’m or no’m … some people just don’t have common curtesy anymore.

This has been bothering me for some time. I have talked about this so much over the past few years and because I have talked about it so much that I have tried to become extra cautious of how I was maybe treating other people or even how I was raising my children. I think somewhere between cell phones and social media we have neglected manners . I mean just regular and normal kindness has gone down the drain . And though it may be sort of scary now to speak to everyone like we used to when I was a kid , it is nice to at least smile at people you don’t know and speak to the people you do know. Especially if they speak to you first.

I will have to give a disclaimer that I grew up in the south with a Midwestern mother . My home life was that of a regular midwestern girl but my social life was that of a regular southern girl . I learned quite early how to speak , say yes ma’am and no ma’am, yes sir and no sir. I was taught to look people in the eye . Give strong hand shakes and tight hugs. When presented with anything whether I liked it or not I learned to say thank you and please if I needed something done. I think I said it so much growing up that it has become a habit. But not so much now.

Maybe we have forgot and need help to figure out how to be nice and cordial

With this in mind I thought that maybe since we have forgot we need a quick session on how to be polite .

  1. When you make eye contact with someone …say hello or smile back.
  2. If someone approaches you …say hello, hi , hey, how are you
  3.  When you’re in a store put away your phone or take it off speaker . No  one wants to hear your conversation .
  4.  You never know who you’re really entertaining , give everyone the same respect.
  5. Don’t ask questions that You may not want to answer if they were asked to you .
  6. If you social media friends live in the same city or the same district as you it is ok to speak .
  7. If someone reaches out to shake your hand give them a firm grip.
  8. If someone says you look nice to day …say thank you .
  9. If you are a worker in a store and someone looks puzzled …ask may I help you .
  10. If you work the drive through …its ok to speak before you take my money and then say thank you as I drive off.
  11. If you work on a job and someone upsets you …got to the back with your tantrum
  12. The customer is always right .
  13. If you are a consumer and you need help in the store …please and thank you goes far.
  14. If you are being served in a restaurant and you are being seated, served , or asked to place your order . Give direct orders . Speak with your head up and say thank you every time.
  15.  There is appropriate space between you and the person in front of you in line.
  16. If you have 100 items and the person behind you has 2 let them go ahead of you. The same is true if you have coupons.
  17. Men should still open the doors for women . And stop for her as she is crossing the street.
  18. The pedestrian always has the right away .
  19. You do not have to feed the homeless but you also don’t need to harass them.
  20. Being loud is not necessary unless its an emergency .

 

Basically

 

Tesha

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