I Can Win Too

Sunday in our Christian Education class we talked about winning . I was able to take a mental journey on my own childhood when  winning wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was a professional loser.  I knew how to lose well and I wasn’t too sad about losing. My older brother, on the other hand had to win. It was a must that he won everything even if it meant that mid way through the process he changed the rules. I was the youngest child and eventually I was the middle child which put me in the place of being the peace maker and if winning made him happy, then it was okay with me that he won.

It was only until I went to school and was around children that were my own age on the same level with me that I knew that I was actually better than I originally thought . But I still used losing as my advantage at home and around the youth group at church . See if you are a chronic loser you can learn how to win when someone older than you decides to , “help,” you win . When you are a chronic loser you never have to swing a bat, run to a base, steal home, you never have to play dodge ball, you never have to really play kick ball , you never have to walk , tie your shoes, fix your own plate , you never have to color and you never have to write . All you have to do is to remain handicap and someone is willing and ready to do it all for you .  I was a professional at this but it was not my personality or a part of my genetic DNA to continue in this folly . I was smarter than I let on and one day , all of a sudden I randomly won a game of checkers, I beat them at UNO , they figured out that I could read, write and color. And one day I decided that I could walk and not be carried.  And guess what …we were no longer as tight as we once were because now we had to compete. Most of all I knew I could win .

<img id=”compImg” class=”compImg” title=”Checkerboard game from a birds eye view Stock Photo” src=”https://us.123rf.com/450wm/mj007/mj0071405/mj007140500010/28451470-checkerboard-game-from-a-birds-eye-view.jpg?ver=6″ alt=”Checkerboard game from a birds eye view. Stock Photo – 28451470″ border=”0″ />

Because of my new found independence I had to learn how to compete in life.  I wish I had learned this more when I was in my adolescent years because my coping skills as an adult would be better but I actually learned how to compete in life while in college. I had been in a few pageants before I entered college and for some reason I wanted to be in the pageant but I hated the judgement, the critiques, and I hated to lose. So I had to learn to enjoy the process and learn what makes me a winner.  And from that point forward rather I won or lost it was the process that was the most enjoyable.

Pageants are just like life, you are judged from the moment you walk on the stage. You are judged by the way you walk , the way you talk, the way you listen and the way you comprehend.  Most importantly you are judged by how much fun you have during the process. Isn’t that funny that you are actually judged by whether or not you are having fun.  Life is a lot like this , sometimes good things don’t happen for us in the time that we need them to happen because we are too busy complaining about our situation instead of getting joy that God has given us this time . Until the peace of mind comes and then enjoying the process that situation that you are facing will be a situation that is unfavorable.  The right mind produces the right results.

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In life we compete for everything , there is not often a grand prize with flowers a crown or a parade but the reward is knowing that we have reached a goal , and when you’ve finally reached a goal and it is without kicking and screaming you’ll have time to enjoy the prize.   Don’t become the person I was and be the professional loser, instead use the positive side of it , always learn from your mistakes and win.


Loving Life


Year 43.

This weekend we will celebrate the time of Pastoral Ministry for my father . I don’t know if I’ve ever written about the fact that we have celebrations but I think its fitting , considering the occasion.  Pastor appreciation services are a staple in the black community. The Church spends most of the year having fashion shows, fish fries , yard sales and special services , “on behalf of our Pastor.’ Each committee is well represented and there is an elected board ( not sure how that works) that determines who speaks on the programs, what the pastor and the family wears, what the church will eat and probably what they church would wear.

My earliest memories of church are Pastor appreciation services.  I remember the outfits and that parade we made down the aisle of the church while people stood and clapped. I wondered what they were clapping for and why I was walking to the front of the church to sit on a couch , yes a couch in the church with my parents. They made it really homey looking in the church with a couch and a lamp inside the church . Pretty cleaver and kinda country all at the same time.

<img src=”https://static.seattletimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/44cce28e-0ced-11e6-970c-389739c0beb2-1020×668.jpg” alt=”Image result for African American Church 1980s” />

That day people who have never spoken before spoke to us and told us (and I say us because everyone usually included the entire family ) how much they appreciated and loved their PASTAH! A lot of tears shed, money exchanged , flowers and cards and then dinner was served. No appreciation service was complete without Chicken Dressing, Green Beans, Corn, Chicken , rolls and of course numerous sweets. We may not have always had name brand sodas but after a long day in church BIG K’s would hit the spot. And nobody could eat before the Pastor ate and there was someone standing guard to make sure that didn’t happen . After all it was his day .

<img src=”https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/09/03/arts/05MUSEUMBUILD2/05MUSEUMBUILD2-master675.jpg” alt=”Image result for African American Church 1980s” />

It was only until I was an adult that I realized why Pastor’s were celebrated . There is a scripture in the bible that says,  “You must not muzzle an ox to keep it from eating as it treads out the grain.” And in another place, “Those who work deserve their pay!” Being a pastor is a great sacrifice, it is a position that is not for the weak at heart. It is not about the glitz and the glam, its not about the new suits, those purple labels, and that brand new Cadillac . It’s certainly not a position that offers 401k’s , life or health insurances. And unless you’re not the founder of that beautiful building , something is in your name.Pastor’s are the first to be called in the case of an emergency . They are there for deaths and births.  And fortunately or unfortunately depending on the time of the call,  usually get the first call from a jail , collect.

As a teen and partly throughout my twenties I hated the choice that my father made to Pastor , but now I stand proudly with him . I’m proud of all of his accomplishments and his failures.  I appreciate his life of integrity and  his servants heart . He has taught me so much without saying a word and for this he is worthy to be celebrated.

Celebrating 43 years and counting…

loving life


The Struggle Child

I think that every family has that one child that doesn’t complain , never asks for anything . Never requests all of your time and needs the least amount of hugs and kisses from you . In my immediate family my youngest brother was that person . He was born 7 years after me and I was that one kid that was needy. I inherited allergies from my dad, kept a consistent headache and I was just clingy. I  Needed constant affection , affirmation , and money for junk I wanted. I wasn’t that spoiled brat that you would imagine me to be but I was pretty close . It didn’t help that I was the only girl in my family , so there was probably some attention that I would have received either way but that’s another story .  I may have to correct this story and add my older brother but I’m sure it was my little brother .

In my family that person is my youngest son . I refer to him as the struggle child…why well because sometimes I forget about him so much that he looks out for him self more than its required. It all happened when he was born just 15 months after his premature sister, ( She’s the needy one in my family) we decided to just give birth to him the organic way . Only finding out the due date for his birth and not indulging in sonograms or random testings that don’t help anything while you’re pregnant. I didn’t have a name picked out and we purchased everything in white . I purchased a neutral carrier and went to the hospital with something yellow packed for the child that was coming home with us.  We never even called him anything when he was in my womb …just baby.I wasn’t interested in finding out what he was after you had two of each gender its not like we were praying for one or the other …at least I wasn’t . It was a surprised to us that he came out a boy bc somehow I thought he would be a girl . He was an entire boy and I wasn’t that thrilled about the pain I experienced giving birth and really not happy about the fact that he and his sisters were all under 2 years old when he came . This was not my idea of creating a close family  . So I was buying diapers in 3 sizes and formula for three different age groups . I didn’t come to terms with his birth till he was about a year old and still I wasn’t just that thrilled about having a boy at the end. It was a tough time for me and I probably faced a little depression after his birth .  Thank God for other people coming into my life at the time they did.

I look at him sometimes and I think …why did I get him at the time I got him . Now he’s the only little person in the house with me during the day. Every morning I prepare his breakfast and wait on that moment that his head pops up and immediately says I’m hungry . He sings a few songs while he eats, he’s taught himself how to get on youtube and find his own shows. He learned how to spell his name without much help , he can facetime his big brother while he’s in school, he knows how to call his favorite person and he frequently asks my mother, ” what are you cooking today ?”  And still with all of his advances and cute and witty sayings I still forget to buy him clothes and shoes and that one time I noticed him playing with sticks I realized …maybe I should buy him some action figures.  Oh yea and then that was the time his brother ran over his bike and then his new bike broke and he was riding his sister’s big bike for like 6 mos because we just weren’t in a hurry to replace his old bike .

You can tell that he is the youngest child because just as my older brother  took care of my younger brother, my eldest son takes pretty good care of Port . He also has to answer to a girl gang and one other bigger brother who doesn’t think highly of his little brother . I look at Port some days and think man , its tough being the youngest child. Everyone , I mean everyone tells him what to do . He recently asked for a dog because he wanted someone to tell what to do .

The other Sunday as I was getting the girls ready for church , he gathered himself and put on his own outfit. I didn’t question his choice, I didn’t change his clothes, I just went with it . Don’t get me wrong , I love him dearly, I am proud of what he has grown to be but the timing of his birth threw me off. There is purpose for everything . I thank God daily for his witty words, his random songs and the fact that he never likes any of the food that he is allowed to eat and therefore is forever hungry. I don’t know what the future will bring for us considering he’s just 4 but I pronounce blessings over his life. I pray that he’s forever successful in all he desires .I pray that not one day will we cry over his life’s decisions and that he makes the best of this world and that he will forever make his Dad and I happy.

I pray that he won’t struggle as a black male and will overcome all the obstacles that are presented to he and his brothers.  They all will be mighty men of honor and success will proceed , go and follow them We call him the struggle child but his life will never be that of a struggle. He’s the baby of our family and we wouldn’t be complete without him . Struggle no more Portland  .

Loving Life,

Basically Tesha


What’s New…

I’m sure you guys are wondering what is new in Tesha’s boring life so I decided its time to give you an update. My life has been successfully BUSY since my husband left and every week brings about a new adventure.

Last week marked the end of training  for Anthony , we watched him graduate, run and salute. It is very interesting all the things a spouse must learn while they are away and there are so  many rules , so many regulations. At one point I felt like I was on a television show and any moment someone would say … ,”And cut.” Yea I’m still waiting for that . Who knew that after living with this man for 7 years he knows how to make a bed, and fold clothes. He can also get dressed without me . He is currently off to his new assignment and I am here trying to decide family things until he returns …next year.  Well not next year but pretty close.

The kids are the same I introduced Pier to John Grisham …when I was a young reader his books always made me feel smarter. I hope he enjoys this hometown ( Oxford) Author’s stories. He’s still on page 16 which is alarming because this boy has a love for reading maybe he is just not into it. Either way he is going to read that book and the books there after.  Portland has become increasingly worse. I thought that since he would be turning four in a few weeks that he would possibly calm down , yet I am disturbed that he is sitting in the floor at this very moment tearing up paper. He sings loudly, talks in his sleep and now he cries a lot . In a fit of rage , or that moment he doesn’t get his way he breaks out in tears and it reminiscent of a new born baby needing a bottle or a diaper change . I sure hope he grows out of it . At night when he is sleep I search the internet on ways to nurture his appetite for fun . All kids don’t deal well with discipline so I wonder what his triggers are .  I wondered the same about Pier when he was that age , which made me start teaching him to read early but Portland , yea Portland must learn to read before Summer is over . That is next on my list.

The girls are growing up but if I knew girls screamed as much as mine do I would have declined the invitation to be a mother of daughters. They cry over the most simplistic things. They have an explanation for every tear and scream that is rendered.  You would think that me, being a woman too would understand but I have to confess they are too emotional to me. Currently they are into watching youtube and doing vlogs. I go back and look at these vlogs  and they are saying absolutely nothing …introducing dolls and their functions and such . Pk sings all day …her favorite song is Jesus loves the little children . I currently hate that song . She sings the song in 3 part harmony too and that’s tough because she cannot sing those parts at once they must be done separately which makes that song even longer and very ,very ,very dramatic.  Peach is still attached to me but shes’s crafty . She makes things out of nothing and they are a master piece to her .  We’ve gone thru a lot of construction paper, glue , ribbons and markers. She’s in the corner now making something for Sunday . Its probably just crumbled up paper but she says its a crown. I’ll post a picture when its done.

Peyton is over driving . After waiting a year to get his drivers license , I have to bribe him to drive. He is also a bottomless pit. Well they all are , I don’t remember eating so much as a kid . I mean every 15 minutes they are requesting food .  I possibly feed them more now than I did when they were infants.  As a matter of fact I know I do .

As for me I’ve read one book , I sleep a little less and I desperately need a pedicure. I have not been to the nail shop in 3 weeks because I decided to take a short cut and go to a nail shop that I had not been to but it was closer to my destination. The little inexperienced newly hired nail technician not only didn’t speak English she also didn’t cut my nail short enough . She didn’t file it either even though I told her 3 times to cut my toe nails down  and what happened next…my nail cracked and its painful. I shall return to the place I normally go to this week and in a hurry because I am ashamed of my own feet.

We are getting ready to see Anthony soon as well plan our summer vacation I am equally excited for both .  I’m enjoying each and every moment with the time I have with these babies because Summer moves fast and school starts soon .

Feeding kids and

loving life


School Time

As we embark on a new school year , excitement is in the air. I’m still wondering why kids get so excited about new glue and crayons but I guess if crayons make you happy I can go with it. But this year is one of those exceptional years , I have a senior . I know I’ve bored yall with the fact that he is graduating but you have to realize he was just born the other March , there is no way that he is ready to graduate. I digress.

This year is also the beginning of a school year with Daddy away in school. I thought about all of this when he decided to dedicate his life to the United States Air Force. I know I’ve said it over and over again but just in case this is your first time reading any of my blogs , Anthony (husband) has been away from us serving in Air Force since April . That’s 5 months that he’s been away from the family and 5 months that I have been on my own , well I do have a wonderful support system . He will be home at the end of the year and we are pretty excited about the new phase in his career upon his return .

It is my prayer that this school year be one the most successful school years of all time . My prayer is that all of the school assignments that are sent home are miraculously done on time and with little effort. I pray that the basketball season will be the best of all time . I pray that Pk and Cuppie have the best adventures in Elementary ( subscribe to their Vlog Parkah and Cuppie Show on youtube) . I pray that Pier takes a break from liking girls and that Peyton enjoys Math. I pray that Portland learns to be good . I pray that tennis shoes last longer than a month, socks stay together , uniforms don’t shrink, that hair stays in place and that no one , no one leaves anything at home that must be at school right away .  I pray that tires stay inflated, police stay in their place, fights stay an after thought. Germs stay where they came from and viruses return to where they were invented.  I pray that lunch stretches and breakfast too.  I pray against the spirit of detention and demerits, lost homework and the ghost that steals pencils and pens. Speaking of that …I’m blogging but I clearly forgot to buy one of kids any school supplies.  Yeah, I gotta go …

Anyway I’m praying for you as well.


Loving Life


Back to What…

So I walked into one of my favorite stores and I grabbed my buggy and took my little cloth and cleaned it and out of the corner of my eye I see some school supplies. My heart sank into my shoes . My God it is July 12, mid summer and while I am happy about the few more road trips and vacations that I have for the remainder of my daylight savings time , Walmart is reminding me that I have less than one month of summer left.


To me it seems like school is getting out later and starting earlier. I never remember a time before this that we started school in early August. I mean we could wait until like a week before Labor Day . And now those of us who are always late for things have to plan trips before the 4th  or around Memorial Day in order to have anytime or type of celebration before school begins again . Don’t get me wrong I love when school is in session . I love the fact that my children are in an environment to learn, to make friends and to worship . But on the other hand I love those long summer nights, hanging out outside, hair changing colors because of the Sun and the pool water . Buying food all summer that you will probably not eat in the winter or fall and the lack of clothes or shoes.  Now I’m wondering do I still have time to let the kids catch fireflies.  Oh yea and we haven’t barbecued all Summer.


Now I’m on edge thinking about purchasing backpacks, new shoes that they will probably and most likely mistreat in the first week of school. And I guess we all need matching socks even tho its too hot for socks but we have to wear them because sandals are not a part of dress code. Did I mention uniforms and new hair bows, earrings without backs , needless gifts for teachers to suck up on the first day. Do I have batteries for my camera and enough space for all the random back to school pictures. Let’s not forget orientation, it was hot last year during orientation , maybe I should wear shorts. And it lasted half of the day …pack a sack lunch.


Needless to say I forgot why I went into Walmart , which made me stay even longer and purchase more random things I did not need. Well for now I will just enter Walmart through the garden center to smell the flowers and avoid the folders, dividers and pencils. I guess the bigger picture is the early bird gets the worm. So those of you who already have your list of school supplies needed…hurry to Walmart before it’s too late. School starts in less than a month . Are you ready for school to start?

Life is great…Loving Life


Talk About a Diff’rent World

So I am learning new things . I am totally socially and traumatically in a different world. I have to learn different terms, I learned that the Army and the Air Force are actual rivals although they work for the greater good of our nation . Anyway that is the least of my worries right now .  I have a few other things with the military that I would like to talk about , briefly .

Let’s talk for a moment about the United States Air Force … wives. So there are unspoken rules and some very spoken and well known and rehearsed rules to being a spouse of an Airman.  They have terms called, “dependa’s .”  They make sure that even though you are well aware of your husbands rank , you aren’t ranked as nothing but his wife. And as his wife you come second , behind the United States.

<img src=”https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/98/3d/0e/983d0e31a0b274e9326a75d22d877447–military-spouse-military-service.jpg” alt=”Image result for Air Force Wife Pictures” />

Which leads me to the fact that the United States Government doesn’t care if you have children or a wife your duty is to serve your country . I never realized why there was so much respect for the people who serve in the military until now and that’s why they salute and get paid for their time and service . And that’s why they cannot be fired from their jobs, too . It kinda reminds me of the selfless service that my parents give as Pastor’s , they’re just never get saluted or have days with free meals and stuff like V. A loans and what not.

<img src=”https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/94/88/a8/9488a88f3117de383f727aaff4e8c974–airforce-wife-military-wife.jpg” alt=”Image result for Air Force Wife Pictures” />

And then there is all the terminology … Abu’s , BAH, LED’s ( I may have made that up). Learning the proper protocol on how to walk with your spouse. The difference between uniforms. How to clean uniforms and what you can and cannot do in uniform. Oh and then there is an order to spouses.  Now if your husband is 18 and an e-1- e-2 ( that’s your rank in the Army , you’re treated like a high school freshman .  Again the higher in rank you are the more you get too that includes money and perks. But again remember it’s not your rank it’s your husband’s rank you are just there to clean his ABU’s.


Loving Life


New Month …New Possibilities

I’m not exactly counting down the days that my husband returns home, but rather learning to adjust my life while he is away . And what an adjustment it has been . I have reached a point with this situation to think about his new adventure , ” pridefully,” rather than depressed, disgusted or any of the other negative words I can insert.

However; I’m ready for a vacation . Like a real vacation one with all expenses paid . A really lavish destination too . The kind with white sand beaches, the ones where they pull back your covers at night and lay chocolates on your pillow .  A vacation within a vacation , where miraculously a nanny appears , one for each child . And she dresses them and puts them to bed and every now and then all I hear is a faint, ‘Hi Mom! Going to the…see you later.” I’m adding up my coins now so that I can make this happen this year and really,  really soon.

<img src=”https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/08/04/03/14/poster-1568247_960_720.jpg” alt=”Poster, Beach, Sign, Notice, Florida, English, Warning” />

In the meantime, I’ve experienced another birthday without Anthony , our baby boy turned 4 years old . We have celebrated another holiday over the phone and we probably had our first disagreement since he left …all over the phone . Its a new part of life that I am adjusting to .  One thing I have learned throughout this process is not to complain but to give thanks for every opportunity and this new season of life.  On a lighter note his classes have started and that means that we are at least a few days closer to graduation .

<img src=”https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2013/05/11/08/26/person-110303__340.jpg” alt=”Person, Human, Joy, Sunset, Sun, Orange” />

My girls have found their new voice in vlogs , pretty fun to see what they come up with each day.   They have the funniest personalities already . And such giving hearts. I have watched them go into church and hug each and every person they walk passed ( a trait they probably didn’t inherit from me ) and then I noticed them give away every piece of candy or gum I had in my purse. They have the same generous ways when they have people over to the house . Already they have acknowledged their place in the world  they have learned how to serve and the principle of giving . They have found their calling and  are walking in part of their purpose for life. As a parent it is my responsibility to nurture their life and their gifts.  Making an investment in your children’s life goes above and beyond clothes and shoes, investments make their dreams come alive.

My sweet second child , Pier has been one of those guys that if he found something he likes he’s there 100% for it.  When he was a tot he was really into Power Rangers and everything was about Power Rangers, he changed from that to Football and from Football to basketball. His idea is that if he’s going to do something he’s going to be the best at it . He studies it , he sleeps ,eats and breathes basketball , practicing day in and day out . Never giving up and each morning he says, Mommy I dreamed I was playing in a large arena . He can see himself bigger than he is right now   Sometimes we can take our life prompts from children, we could possibly be more successful adults.

<img src=”https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/08/25/15/30/dictionary-1619740_960_720.jpg” alt=”Dictionary, Reference Book, Learning, Meaning” />

One thing I have learned about life is that your mind has to  be fixed and focused on all things positive . That is the only way to gain positive results. I think we as a community have focused too long on the negative issues that we face as a people for so long that we are not living up to our ability . We were not placed on the earth to worry ,to fear ,to doubt our self worth , to think constantly about dead things, to fight, to fuss or to create problems. We were placed on the earth to prosper and be in good health . It’s okay to give and serve and its okay not to be the center of attention all the time .  There is a lesson in everything . I learn something new daily.

Living and Learning


Snacks and more

So schools out for Summer and because I try  to simplify my life I have the goal to purchase child friendly snacks for the summer.  So we walk into  Walmart  Neighborhood Market with my list of things to purchase. I love the Neighborhood Market because its cheaper than the other grocery stores but it still gives you that small town feel . And it has a larger selection of foods.  Sometimes I go to the Super Walmart too because there is nothing like buying milk and some cute leggings  all at the same time . 🙂

I try to purchase food for two weeks because I frequent Wal-mart so much the people have started speaking to me by first name and yea I guess that’s ok if you like that sort of thing .  But since my husband is away in training for the Air force I don’t have time to send him there for last minute things so my lists have to be precised. Anyway I have a small list of things I need and since Wal-mart has those consistent falling prices I can get more for just a small amount of money and its usually fresh because of their consistent turn overs .  My first summer trip there we needed cheese, water, juice, crackers and then kid friendly foods. Thank God Wal-mart has cereal on a Summer Sale because its too hot for waffles  in the Summer.  I also needed to purchase snack foods,  lays potato chips,  oreo cookies , goldfish crackers, cheezits, koolaid jammers , and because any meal can easily be made by this we desperately needed Knorr pasta and rice sides.

Now I have two sets of children the  really greedy group and the super greedy group.  My super greedy group likes fresh veggies and fresh fruit so we needed fruit as well. I typically frequent the farmers market but with the prices they have on fruit at wal-mart who could resists those cherries, limes and apples.

So everyone is frazzled in the summer when it comes to feeding their kids . I have learned to not sweat the small stuff and prepare. It is true that my children may go thru a bag of cherries in one day and eat all of the twenty count of  lays in two days or half a pack of oreos in 30 minutes but its all in how you prep your family.  Kids like routines , rituals and rules.  So remember those 3 words and enforce them. First things first nothing is served unless you’re all clean. Breakfast comes first , its summer so cereal is a staple for us .  If camp is not on your schedule for the summer put your kids on a schedule . The more occupied they are the less they think about eating .  We typically eat lunch on the run , one of our favorite stops is Chickfila . We don’t always get kid’s meals because those can be pricey for 3 children on a daily bases but their menu is so vast that we can make a lunch off one meal. We love their salad’s and soups too .

We generally have one snack a day and there are those rare occasions that I am in the middle of blogging that the kids will sneak food and in those times I always have bottle water and baby carrots or even a good bag of lays chips somewhere handy. A few days out of the week I have some special things that must be done and I don’t get those opportunities to cook like marinating things and frying stuff or baking things . In those times I can always depend on Knorr pasta or rice sides. I can steam chicken breasts and add tomatoes or carrots to any of the sides for an amazing dish in just under 30 minutes give or take .

When school was in session we usually had a snack before bedtime but its summer and we need more rest in the summer because we have more sunlight . We eat later and we eliminate the snack for the night thus keeping more food in the house for the next day .  And less starving tummy’s for the morning . Somehow the earlier you put them to bed the longer they sleep . I learned this that one night I let the kids stay up passed midnight and they got into everything in the house and then woke up at 6AM.

Summer Rocks , and so does Walmart

Loving Life


And Guess What…Nobody Cares

So recently I took a media fast.  There were so many stories surfacing about shootings, murders, robberies and more that I couldn’t rest at night. I spent many nights thinking about those individuals involved, reading their facebook pages, looking at their pictures , trying to see what went wrong. And I have this one friend , we can read one line of a news report and we are emotionally involved in that families life for months. Currently we are grieving for a family that we know but not that well , and when I say grieving we have stayed up all night wondering what went wrong. So yea, I’m too involved . It’s probably something I inherited from my mother, either way I needed a break because I have my own life too.

Well yesterday I decided to open up my browser and read . I don’t just read the stories , I read the comments associated the stories. Why ? Well there is always a cousin, a close friend to the family that will comment and then you will know a portion of the family that wasn’t written in the story. So I came across two stories yesterday one involved a white lady and her daughter that were beaten by this black male and lady because they went to a restaurant and their chicken was cold.  Well the video started when the lady ( the black lady ) comes around the corner and starts to punch the other lady ( white lady) in the face and then the white lady’s daughter gets out of the truck to help her mom . Who wouldn’t help but there is this black male there and he pushes, or punches the young girl in the face and then the tape ends.  I scroll to the bottom of the page to read the comments because as a human I am both tickled ( bc there was no sound and you can add your own words to videos, yeah my sense of humor takes over a lot  ) and mortified. Like what could the woman have said to them to get their temper up so much that they chose to fight . It had to be more. Needless to say they interviewed the attackee ( not a word huh ) and not the attackers and her response was , they need to be placed under the jail.  Sympathy was coming from everywhere. Everyone was on the side of the business owner and of course no one came to the defense of the people that were fighting . I thought well… what could the business owner have said to them to push them to the point of violence it couldn’t be just about cold chicken.


Then I moved on to the local story of a bank robbery in the small town of Mantachie, MS.  Mantachie is a small town just East of where I live and the beginning of our family line . So I thought who would go to such a small town to rob a bank not only was there a robbery but the suspect shot and killed a teller and eventually she took her own life.  What could have happened to  have initiated such a terrible crime in such a small town . And then I scrolled down and read the comments ,  the suspect was full of love , she loved hard, she was a great person an asset to the community .  I was shocked even more when our local news story covered a story on the suspect.

I had to do my research at this point because I cannot remember any stories in the past that involved anyone of color that was given the same sympathy. I read on comment on the the Philandro Castro case that said …he had it coming. Who says that about an innocent person whose life was taken in front of a small child because of a busted tail light? When the tapes were released of the baby talking to her mother there was no big out pour of compassion toward that baby girl or the fact that for years to come she is going to suffer.

And then there is Bill Cosby . No I don’t think it is any way a good thing that he has drug and raped women . But at the same time why did they wait so long to tell it?  I mean they had decades to tell this information . And at the same time in real time women were popping out of everywhere telling about the sexual harassment they endured under Donald Trump, the president of the United States. Now since he’s been in office yes we have had information about his Russian prostitutes but nothing on those women and guess what no one has really said anything about that . Remember those women’s rights marches that they had across the country and people calling them idiots for marching … and then the marches died down . And then Shonda Rhimes spoke out against Cosby and I was reminded of her bleached skin and the fact that she has an entire series centered around a woman who is screwing the married President . I guess its only right to commit adultery when its mutually agreed upon even though its still wrong.

Meanwhile our community is still killing each other . We are still making a large impact in the prison system.  We are still not supporting our own . (Remember Willie Lynch and refer back to my comment on Shonda Rhimes. )We are still leading the way in health issues, obesity , unemployment , we are behind in education ,  we are still living in poverty , police are still killing us, the justice system is failing us . We are the leading consumers but we are failing at being a brand and guess what nobody cares. Its time to wake up.


I care!


Loving Life