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I have written about this , I have thought about this and as much as I like to crack jokes and laugh about the insignificant things in life this is probably a subject that I cannot get a way from . What am I talking about …race. Its an issue that unfortunately in my face whether I want it to be or not .
Today I got up and just wondered how life would be if I wasn’t continuously defending myself as a black woman . Being black is more than just my skin color. Being black means that I am immediately judged. I am immediately classified in a way that sets me a part from everyone else. I am constantly made to feel like I’m less than my counterparts. And because I have to prove myself so much I am often judged and classified as mean or the black b—h. And if I am not that I am some white males fantasy.
I get tired of the constant stares of those older individuals that look at me when I walk into a store with all 5 of my kids and then ask me the question…, ‘Its gotta be hard to be a single parent.” Assuming that just because I am alone with kids that I couldn’t possibly be married.
I get tired of people asking me …can I touch your hair. How did you get it like that ? As if I sculpted my hair in sort sort of weird way. I wash my hair and flat iron it just like you . And then the dreaded …I’m almost dark as you . No you’re not . I want you to be white like you are and let me be black.
I get tired of you doing a double take every time I mention the fact that I attended school at the University of Mississippi . And yes there have been several times that I have been disappointed that I attended a school with so many old south traditions. But at the same time I felt very proud to be one of many that have walked those halls of a school who once did not allow my people to attend . You would think we would have achieved so much now but Ole Miss ( yea) still has a black quota.
Stop asking me why I want confederate symbols to come down . How many Jews want to see anything referring to Hitler. Stop thinking that slavery and Martin Luther King ( although he was an awesome guy) are the only things that I have to be proud of . I am more than slavery.
My children are more than athletes. They are more than your winning sports team. My son’s have ideas, dreams and goals that are outside of sports and if they do have interests in sports let’s balance this out. I am tired of worrying about my kids as they drive down the street for a wal mart visit. I’m tired of being afraid every time that a police will stop them just because they are black and not because they actually did something .
I am tired of playing second fiddle to everything. Do you not realize that besides Oprah there aren’t any leading black women in power? And don’t bring up, Kerry Washington , her character is having an affair with a white man. Am I not bigger than being a side chick. Every role that has been noteworthy in or Oscar worthy has been about a slut, a slave or a the side chick.
When I was a child no one wanted full lips or a big butt. But now we aren’t even given credit for what is in our DNA. And we have the thighs and legs to help hold up that butt and the nose to go with those lips so give us back our fair share…
Oh well …life of a black woman.
Loving Life,
Tesha
