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These last few months I have really paid attention to individual personality types. I recently wrote a blog about an unwanted guest. Parasitic people who latch on to you for their good. Leaving you empty and confused. I thought to myself last night , things don’t just happen to you just because .Its always a reason behind it . Maybe I am just that person that will be able to help some individuals see the error of their ways. Or maybe its just more things to write about …who knows but as I say it all the time… look at things optimistically . Learn something from every situation you’re in and move forward in grace and hope that life can and will become better. I never really realized that people could have personality disorders in such a way that they actually cannot control their actions. They seek to hurt others. They plan others demise in their minds, they plot and plan and create false realities to suffice their inability to see the good in anyone besides themselves. How does one find wrong in everyone ?
When I was a small girl and my mother worked in the beauty salon , I would love to go there after school to hear the stories the women told . I know…she didn’t like me there and she couldn’t control what they talked about but they were pretty tame around me so no worries I didn’t hear anything that was detrimental to my growth as a child. Around the time I was about 6/7 there was a movie that came out about this guy who had an affair on his wife with one of his co workers. Well it wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s that was finally of age to watch this movie, and trust me I could not wait. So this guy meets a lady, he developed a friendly relationship with her. In the beginning it was or seemed harmless. Well once she realized she couldn’t have him all to her self . She went ballistic and started stalking him , and then she creeped into his house and captured the family pet which was a rabbit and she boiled it . She claims to be pregnant with his baby because she didn’t want him to leave her after that weekend affair that they had. The lady’s name was Alex, Alex even picks up Dan’s daughter from school and takes her to an amusement park ( Dan is the guy Alex has an affair with ). Alex thinks its okay to act this way after all she was a woman scorned and in her mind she was the one that was hurt or going to be hurt. She smiled when Dan choked her and while she grabbed a knife to stab him . Well at the end of the movie she was killed by Beth, Dan’s wife. Shot in the chest point blank range. I have to be honest I didn’t look at Glen Close the same after this movie . She mad me think she was really crazy . And then I realized that there are women in the world that really act like this . We call them Sadistic.
To have a sadistic personality a person takes pleasure in the discomfort of another person . Nothing makes them happier than to make someone’s life a living hell. They purposefully manipulate people with words of hurt , physical violence and pain. You hear them often contemplate burning houses down, shooting individuals , fighting and character defamation. And because of their continual verbiage to incite fear people start to believe them. Never realizing that this is a disorder brought on by insecurities. People are not born to be sadistic. This is something that happens over time. This person may have experienced a bad childhood where their parents divorced, they were bullied in school or they had parents who stayed married but they fought each other often. The sad thing is that unless you realize what trigger the sadistic personality you will never remedy the problem .We all have seen people on medication for depression, being bipolar, but what about when you’re sadistic or manipulative? Is that a chemical imbalance that requires medication? Is that a chemical imbalance that needs to be combated with nutrition and good heath?
Do you remember the movie the Hand that Rocks the Cradle? Or Single White Female? When the Bough Breaks? Obsessed? Unforgettable? Acrimony? All of these movies had one thing in common, a manipulator . This is the 3rd personality disorder that I have noticed. A manipulator often makes you feel good about yourself to make room for them to control you. They are extra nice. Asking you is there anything they can do for you. Offering you money, food , time and attention. They spend time listening to you , making you important. If you have a problem they make you feel like your problem is their problem. They use words like, ” You know how we do it !” Using , “we,” as if you are best friends even when you don’t feel as comfortable around them . They aren’t trustworthy , although when they are around you think that they are because they go out of their way to make you feel like they really care. But they are not consistent with their time . And when they have done you wrong they will use words like, ” I can’t believe you would think that , we are better than this , do you really think that I would do you bad , It wasn’t my intentions to make you feel that way ,” instead of saying I am wrong I should not have done that. They will never take responsibility for their actions . Taking days to get their stories together instead of talking to you when the situation happens.
Manipulation goes hand in hand with lying. Why? Because you are not who you say you are . In order to manipulate you have to be all things to all people and in order to do that , you have to lie. You will not be authentic, and one lie will always cover up another lie . A manipulator tries to buy acceptance. And when they are overwhelmed by the money they have used to buy friends then they disappear. Using the excuse that they have been busy. Phone calls go unanswered , text messages will not be returned all because they have to refuel and then the process starts over. A manipulator is always a victim . Someone has wronged them and when those phone calls and texts go unanswered its always someone other than their fault. A manipulator is selective with their memory , they can remember everything another person has said but they fail to recall anything that they have ever said.
Personality disorders are real. They are hardly diagnosed and when they are they seem to be diagnosed too late. One of the most important things to do is to not fall victim to someone like this. Life is full and it should be lived successfully without doubts and fear. When this happens to you the first thing that you may want to do is to get back but the best thing for you to do is acknowledge it and move forward . If you meet someone with a borderline personality don’t afraid to point it out. Be honest with your thoughts and always remain true to yourself…Basically
Tesha
It’s important to be wise choosing friends and careful with who you let in your life. Many nice people are out there though.
This is such an interesting and informative post to read. I have met my cousin’s cousin before and she has this kind of problem. At first, it was scary because you really don’t know what’s on her mind but after a month of talking with her I found out that she is aware that she has a personality disorder and she really wanted to correct it in as soon as possible. I am sure this post will help a lot to those who have this kind of issue.
I am lucky to have never met such a person in my life so far. I hope I won’t either from now on, they sound terrible and so bad for your mental health.
I never saw that movie, but sounds crazy! I loved reading your break down on all of this.
I know a few people with personality disorders and it is very scary.
I recently had to handle a parasitic person and it is so draining. I wouldn’t go as far as it being a personality disorder, but maybe I should just point out the behaviors that were undesirable.
Very informative post. Personality disorders are real thing. The manipulators, sometimes they even don’t know that they are having that thing. I think Sadistics are easier to be diagnosed rather than manipulators.
Very informative article. Most people would be amazed at how many personal disorders are walking around them daily. If you don’t know who you are, it is easy to be manipulated by others.
The kind of people you are describing are the people I strongly dislike being around. I was once surrounded by parasitic people, they seem to just suck the life out of you. I freed myself though lol!
You address a really important subject here! I think we are surrounded by manipulative people, but it is not always pathological. Manipulation is, in fact, a very common human way of communication when you want someone to do something they aren’t eager to do. It often starts in childood, when you want your children to eat vegetables, and they wouldn’t want,so you tell them a story to convince them, etc. Yes, manipulating is lying but in many occasions it is for someonelse’s own good (children eating vegetables is healthy, etc.) The REAL problem is that some people growing up are unable to detect the manipulation mechanism and fall victims of it (like people entering dubious religious sect, or people voting for Hittle in Germany in 1930, etc.). Apart from that, there is also manipulators who are pathologically atteint, this kind of people shouldn’t be left in society unattended and they need to be medically assisted!
This was definitely an interesting post. I like how you showed the different personality through examples.
You are an amazing writer Tesha, and you are correct personality disorders are real and if you are not aware it can lead you to be burnt out and empty yourself. The best thing to do is support that person to get help.
It is great you are highlighting personality disorders. It is a subject I find that is overlooked. I found this such an interesting read indeed.