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I hate when I get a burst of inspiration while doing something else. My mind rests when I rest and moves when I move. I was cleaning my tub when I had a thought. I had to rush to my computer and type. I didn’t want to miss another opportunity to get out all of my thoughts. I am in the middle of cleaning, washing clothes, dusting, removing last nights newly built spiderwebs and I thought…is this what I grew up to become? Don’t get me wong I had thought I would have to make my bed and things of the sort but I didn’t think that any of this would be my , ” goals” for the day . And in some ways completing my tasks for the day is kinda rewarding but often not so fulfilling.
When I was a little girl I wanted to be a dancer, realizing that may or may not have been a viable career I started exploring what else could long term benefit me. I had tons of public speaking hours built up from the years of being a PK and having to do things in church. Its funny that in my memory I can recollect all the long boring speeches that I had to learn as a child. My mother told me recently that I didn’t have to do all of those things if I didn’t want to do it, thanks for telling me that in my 40’s, Mom. Albeit those moments prepared me for today. By the time I was in my last year of high school I wanted to be a journalist. Unsure of which one I chose print journalism and I changed my major to broadcast first semester of my sophomore year in college.
Once that major was changed my goals in life changed. I wanted to learn all aspects of television . I could see myself beyond my hometown and beyond that. I had my eyes on bigger things. And then something happened and it made me change gears and maybe look at what I could incorporate into my life that I would be able to still fulfill my goals as a journalist yet still maintain my obligations at home. I really should have thought that through a little more. AHHH
So we are here. I am a sahm , still trying to fulfill my need for success . Did you know that being a sahm is a lonely place? We often don’t have time to speak with other adults . And as for me as a black sahm , it can be especially lonely because it’s really not many of us around. Well at least not here. I spend my days mostly in silence. And unless someone calls me , or I call them, there is not a lot of adult time. And let’s face it motherhood is the most unrewarding job a person can have. Seriously. But does that mean to give up on your dreams?
A few days ago I had decided that maybe my focus should just be on family and all the other things that I have created for myself , just hang it up. Slid out of bed to do my normal routine of cleaning the house and as the time was approaching for motivational Friday ( a weekly motivation series from my mother ) and she titled it , Do you want to be ? Interestingly enough that this would be the day that this particular motivation dropped but also it could mean a lot of things for a lot of people . So listen , Jesus was going around doing his work and he came upon and blind/paralyzed man and he knew he had been there for a long time , he asked him, Do you want to be healed? Now for me the healing doesn’t necessarily mean from something that is physically ailing me , the healing can just mean how I plan to spend the rest of my life. Or just being healed from the way I chose to live my life over the past few years. Jesus told the man to pick up your bed walk and immediately the man was made whole.
Now this put a pep in my step because immediately after Jesus spoke to the man he was made whole . But the man had to put a little action to see for himself that he was healed. Some of us , me included, are just like this man we allow circumstances and disappointment to blind or paralyze us from reaching our goals. Allowing situations and circumstances to become that crutch that we keep as a stabilizer from reaching our potential. We have all been there watching others reach goals or seem like they are reaching goals but we stand back because we don’t believe in ourselves or we make up an excuse that things got in your way. I don’t know how many opportunities I have let go because I allowed someone else to live their dream before I reached for my dream .
Use this is as your reminder to take up your bed and walk…
Basically Tesha
PS Click to watch the motivation https://www.facebook.com/1465304745/videos/1200081224491684/
