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I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret…somewhere in a school near you there is an organized Mommy Mafia. I know some of you guys do not believe me but you have seen and you’re just in denial.
My first experience with the Mommy Mafia happened when my sons were both in lower elementary school. I noticed a few ladies in school who were more than over achievers. They were sort of robot like in form. These Mom’s had a different language that often used the words, our, we, and mine. They drove Honda Mini vans,only the grey ones. God forbid if you owned a black van, I mean you may as well own an expensive Suv, like Sandra Jones, who’s husband only bought her that truck because he’s sleeping with the Nanny.
Sandra was excommunicated from the Mafia because she introduced yoga into her life as an exercise and miraculously she managed to lose all of her baby fat and did I mention she had a tummy tuck . Tummy tucks are out lawed in the Mafia bc you actually need a reason to wear yoga pants and we all know yoga pants are a staple of their woredrobe introduced to control that muffin top they developed after successfully having 4 perfect children.
Let’s talk for a moment about these precious children who have no clue they are a part of this Mafia. These kids with two names that are succesfully monogrammed on every item they own. They are a part of every club, over every class project and the invitor (if thats a word) to every party thrown.
Did I tell you that during the summer Stone Jack thought of this years homecoming theme and came up with his own design for the tee shirts. I also forgot to mention that Stone Jack’s Dad is a designer and you guessed his company is making all the shirts. Thanks SJ!
We all secretly want to be in the Mafia but we aren’t organized and sometimes I refer to my child as Boo and not sweet baby or precious one. Just Boo and its not a term of endearment.
Other reason why they won’t have us, we don’t sign up for anything.We throw box tops away, we forget about fundraisers, we don’t look at all the notes. The PTF ( we fellowship bc we are Christian )is too early in the morning . The carpool line is too long, I get there just before they will charge me for an extra hour. The events at night interfer with my favorite television program and yea I only look at pinterest for house designs and not for the perfect party treat, Walmart can do it for me .
I applaude the Mommy Mafia because we need you. Without you there would be me and ain’t nobody got time for that.
