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What a better day to talk about love. Its Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. Heck love has been in the air since November , we are fighting daylight savings time, shorter days and longer nights. Some of us are refusing to be depressed alone and finding someone to share in the experience of your depression with you would be the icing on the cake . And then March will come and the smells will change you feel like you can conquer the world and you will start to think…I can do bad by myself I was just fine alone . I guess that is just the cycle of life. And its absolutely what’s normal and what happens but let’s talk just a moment about when its real or when its a fantasy.
We live in the moment of reality television and now with the onset of reality television and social media we see things posted daily about love . We see the flowers sent to the office unexpectedly, we see the new car purchased for his spouse without her knowing . We see all the upgrades of wedding rings, new houses, new purses, fun vacations and cute Christmas cards and we look in awe and say I want that too. And it is easy to make it happen for us.
Especially to you singles who are waiting for the right person in your life. Find something that really satisfies your life , think up a hobby, start a business, blog or vlog enjoy you so that you are able to enjoy someone else.
First thing first connect with the perfect person.
Be very honest with yourself when asking yourself what can I give to a relationship. There shouldn’t be just one person giving in a relationship and one person who is always receiving. It is true that a woman is the receiver and the man is the giver but there are some things that a woman can give in a relationship that just makes things work. It its not about being sexy and knowing how to cook, she brings the balance in everyday life knowing when to listen about his job as well as talk about her interests and goals. And a man is not just responsible for paying the bills, he brings the balance in communication and trust as well as encourages you to reach your full potential.
Take Everyone out of the equation
When I say this I mean to take everyone out the equation I mean , stop looking at those cute posts of social media, stop fantasizing how you would like for your life to be and live in reality. You are supposed to have positive ,” influencees ” but just because my husband and I doing something and we are your role models doesn’t mean its the proper time for you to do the same things. Timing is everything. And just because its popular doesn’t mean that its right for you . Do whats best for you.
Family is Important
Even though you feel like you are an adult your family plays a vital role in your happiness. Don’t break relationships for a person. No relationship is worth putting a damper on the family you were birthed into. It should not affect how you feel about your sisters, brothers , uncles and aunts. Its not you and them against the world. Blood is Always NEEDED.
Be Honest with each other
If something bothers you a little bit while you are dating its going to be so much worse when you get married. I mean that tic that he had while you guys were dating and you were ok with it because you didn’t live together and you could go home and not deal with it…well you will have at least 12 hours in a given day to deal with that tic and according to wedding vows, you cannot leave because they breathe funny.
I don’t care how many sleepless nights you have, divorce is not the option. So be honest with each other about what you can or cannot live with . What is your deal breaker, make those decisions before you say I do and be prepared to not like everything about that person but find out on the side before you say I do instead of after. Chances are you will know before don’t miss the signs.
Again be very honest with your partner because on the other hand you can divorce based off fraud. Don’t have someone believing you can or will do something that you have any intentions in doing. Be polite and say I cannot become a millionaire in two years, I cannot have kids I don’t want to blow my figure. I cannot buy you a 6 bedroom house because my credit is not up to par but if you would give me some time I can make it happen. Now if you cannot work that out then its very easy to move on. We have all have had break ups before . It will hurt but you will make it.
Be Authentically YOU
No one but you have to live in any situation . Make sure you show your true colors. When I dated my husband life for me was wonderful, I was working , paying bills, meeting goals, and then one day the economics fell and it fell after we were married. My happy go lucky life changed , I was dependent on him and hated it. I had a side of me that came out that even I didn’t know existed. I am sure that he wanted to bail several times but we rebound and learned how to handle things further. Now had we not been honest with ourselves about our salvation and our prayer life we could have cussed each other off and walked off. But that’s not the way any of this works.
All in all make life the best you can , be honest, authentic, love hard and connect with the right person.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Tesha
