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A few years back, when I was in college, I met a group of ladies and fell in love with our friendship. And over the course of the semester we grew to be what I thought was best friends. We talked about everything and shared everything . To me we were more than friends we were sisters.
…And then we entered second semester. My GPA was important and it was pageant season, I had to work on my body. I had gained too much weight during the previous semester. Yearbook ( I was an editor)deadlines were coming to an end and I had started a new job and interestingly enough I found time to start dating someone new. I was stressed, needed fun, mistakenly started hanging with a crazy crew of individuals, just for laughs and an escape. I lost track of what was going on with my roommates… I had lost track with everything. Actually writing this blog is allowing me to remember things I had forgotten.
One day I went to my dorm room trying to establish some normalcy and one of my roommates called me over to her side. She started telling me things about one of our roommates. I was astonished, I could not believe what she was telling me. She even told me that my roommate hated me . Puzzled, I thought about all those times I let her use my car, brought her to my house for dinner, went to games with her. Inside my heart I knew this wasn’t true. But it had to be because these are my friends, would they lie to me?
I kept my distance but I still didn’t believe, didn’t accept it really. I can remember speaking to her and everyone telling me not to. Pretty soon it had gotten the best of her and she moved out. I left a month after her, it was too much for me. I couldn’t live with all the tension anymore and I started to think, if they did it to her, why wouldn’t they do me the same way.
I never spoke to my roommates after I moved out. I saw them around campus but things were never the same. I’m sure we have varying stories of these events but here is my truth.
A few years later I was at one of my parents churches when I bumped into the roommate that they turned me against. When we saw each other we both screamed with excitement. I was more than just a little happy to see her and I think she felt similar. We’ve kept in touch every since that moment. We even have a child that shares the same name ( coincidentally).
I look back over those years lost. The misunderstanding that took place and how many years it sabotaged our relationship. All because one person took a wonderful friendship and made it toxic. No matter what kind of seed you plant whether it’s healthy or unhealthy it has a way of growing. And though it may grow, the growth doesn’t have to continue.
We all have toxic individuals in our lives. A mature mind can distinguish the good and bad. It’s awful when you know you’re the one that is actually toxic.
Do you have toxic friends?
Are you involved in toxic relationships?
Are you the toxic friend?
#familyfirst
#21daysofprayerandcounting
