Have you ever heard of the saying …The Sap is rising. I have heard this so many times growing up and it was only till now that I have can understand and embrace its true meaning . Trees like Birch, Sycamore and sugar maple produce sap and if you were to go look now you can possibly see them along with some bees and other insects buzzing around them . Mostly when we think about the sap rising we think about the event that takes place when its is time to cut into a tree . When the sap rises it deals with the onset of spring and when it falls its brings Autumn . But in my culture when someone mentions the sap rising it means that someone is ready to fall in love or ready to take the relationship to another level . And when it falls it signifies death or the end of a relationship , we don’t often use that phrase but it is well known in our culture ( well with the older people) .
If you really think about it older people were really thinking in the right direction when they made this into a saying . Ever heard of the birds and the bees. Most of the times this is exactly how relationships begin. Once a lady’s natural glow emits then you’ll notice bees and other flying insects circling around to capture the honey or in this case the sap . This usually happens in the beginning of Spring and if you are not careful they ( relationships) will and can die mid fall , unless you’re into cuffing season and then it may continue into Christmas . And if its a lasting relationship you’ll make it past the end of the year and into the new year .
It is a very normal situation to find love or to seek companionship. I think we are just designed to not be alone . I was telling my husband that about 8 years ago I had lived in a small city and was used to having lunch alone in restaurants. But when I moved to a larger city it was kind of odd ( I guess bc I was still in the South) for me to dine alone and people would look at me strangely . I decided that if I wanted to eat out I had better find new friends or at least wait on him . So yes, we are designed to have companionship . The problems happen when we meet the wrong person during the season that your sap is rising .
I think we all have a natural clock that determines when its the best time for us to find our companion . But though we have a natural hunger for love , sometimes we don’t have the adequate knowledge in choosing the right person . I can say this because I am on the outside looking in and I have seen so many individuals fall into situations that they have no idea how explosive it could become . And at the same time I have watched individuals not seek relationships with individuals who could possibly be beneficial to them. And yes I have chosen some of the worse individuals during this time .
“I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.”
When I was around 30 I felt that it was time for me to settle down . By that time I had just met the guy that is my husband now , well my only husband (LOL ) . At that time things were different for me . I had experienced the results of a rising sap and I wanted to turn the tables. Fortunately I was in a place that I could carefully chose the direction in which I wanted to go . It was not a perfect relationship. Honestly I have never seen a perfect relationship but I saw some things about him that could compensate for some of the things that I lacked and some things in me compensated for the things that he lacked. I was a testy dater . Probably down right irritating . I had a lot of questions and there was so much that I desired from him and of him . He was a lover . I mean he had all the words , all the songs , all the great things to say . Everyday that I would speak to him it was something different , something romantic and I was on the opposite end . Why? Well because I knew the effects of that …I wanted to know if he would be a good husband. I needed to know how he handled situations . I wanted to see his work ethic, how intellectual he was , what his insight was on life , religion, politics, holidays, family dynamics and fun. I needed to know if we were truly compatible or was I over looking something just because he showed so much promise in another area.
We often over look situations just to have someone in our lives . Life is full of directions , signs and signals. We cannot allow what we think we need or what we feel we need to supersede what we really need. I was blessed with another chance to make some things right that I had previously wronged. Thankfully ! It is my suggestion that you follow all the signs and look at all the signals. Recognize all the problems head on be up front with your feelings and deal breakers . Lay them down , talk about them openly and think about what you really need day to day not just on a date night . It isn’t always feelings sometimes its real needs and not always physical or superficial sometimes you need someone to listen to your problems and understand them . Then they can help you resolve those issues . Realize what you can handle up front. You can’t be mad at them about a major issue that could possibly be detrimental to your growth and because you love the way they smell you look over it . Deal with the issues , you only live once. Look past status, money , jobs , positions , body figures and fashion because this can change . Study character , education and integrity …basically!