Remember when women were actually sophisticated. Like seriously! I grew up in an era where ladies were sophisticated.  My mom had a beauty shop and I was that little kid that was always in someone’s face…and yet I learned how to stay in a child’s place. We had some that were not but for the majority of them they were quite sophisticated. They wore dresses and whispered when they spoke badly about someone.  They discretely put their lipstick on in the bathrooms after they ate …and don’t mentioned the fact that most of these women actually powdered their noses.  They gave solid wisdom too. Taught you how to sit with your ankles crossed and legs closed. Made sure your tags where in your clothes and that your slip never shown. They were careful in how they spoke of others and though they gossiped , especially in the beauty shop, they would never speak in front of a child. Instead …ears where covered and an alias was given. I was quite old when when I figured out , ” So and So ,” was not a real person.  They took pride in their appearance too . Always shopping for the best clothes even if they were purchased from a bargain basement. Painting their nails as they got their hair fixed and sharing the news of the new hot colors for fall and spring.

I think I grew up in the best time because not only did these ladies take pride in themselves , they also took pride in their children. Buying them the best clothes and shoes that they could afford. Teaching them how to be young ladies and young men . Preparing them for adulthood and beyond.  But then something happened as I entered high school. I’m sure I know what it was but I’m not sure if I want to just say it. But! There was a big change. We stopped taking pride in ourselves. Things shifted in a major way . I feel like I was one of the last generations that got this sort of upbringing . I was the last generation to experience the pride of sophistication. Now we are in to bonnets and pajama pants.  We are recording fights, and having full fledged social media wars.  We are no longer keeping our private lives to ourselves , ” So and So, ” is given its government name and though hair has evolved and make up has become layered we are a shell of the community we used to be .

I cringe for my daughters. I wonder am I setting an example for them or is social media setting a bigger example for them . I know life is ever changing and evolving but there are a few things that will always remain in season. Sophistication is one of them .

Remember when we actually talked to people. Not in a text but as you walked into a store and someone asked you if they could help you and they actually helped you . I walked into a store the other day and I was aware that a sale was going on but as always the sale was not on everything in the store . I was quite aware of that but I wanted to make sure that the item that I was interested in was in fact on sale as I supposed it was. So I very calmly , in my mask, as the lady behind the counter if this particular product was on sale…she said did you see a sign , if not then its not on sale.  Puzzled I handed her the product and walked out the store. It was her tone and the fact that she never looked at me when she spoke.  What happened to speaking to someone kindly? I will not mention most of the fast food restaurants because at first I thought it was an issue with how restaurants trained their employees but now I think its more of a culture thing. Our new culture needs to be tweaked!

Remember when Politics were kept a secret.  I went many years in school not knowing if my teachers were democrats or republicans. Now my children know what party their teacher identifies with as well as their beliefs and why they believe in that sort of way . One of my son’s said his friend was told not to say a lot of things in front of the help because he didn’t want to offend. Made me think that we may be too open with our children now. I’m making conscious efforts to allow my children to navigate politics now and decide later. Now that 21 year old …he deserves the knowledge that I can give him.

Remember when we never knew when our parents got paid or whether or not they got income taxes. I was watching a tiktok the other day and a child was asking his parents for his part of his stimulus check. He was probably no older than 8. As a child I never knew these things. I knew that I was going to be taken care of and my basic needs would be met. I knew we would have groceries in the house and the lights would be on when I got home . I do remember when I was in the 7th grade and my dad lost his job. I remember him sitting us down and telling us he lost his job but he still had a job. Listen…none of that registered in my mind . And we didn’t miss a beat. Dad got his job back pretty soon after that and we went on with life. But I never asked him…so Dad how much do you make. I never asked my mother how much she charged for a haircut. I doubt he even got paid from the church and if he did I didn’t care. I was a child. Let me laugh and play . Why are we no longer there? Why are our children asking questions that children shouldn’t ask?

You guys Life. Has. Changed. I think sometimes we need to just get back to the basic…there is no telling how different life would be…Basically

Tesha

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