You know I am not a cooker or whatever but I do know that gumbo is a whole pot of everything . I have a lot to talk about today and not in any particular way so just sit back because I’m about to give you a whole bunch of everything .Let’s just get into it.

Half-Hour Chicken Gumbo | Martha Stewart

So this is day 756,311 of quarantine. I have not seen anyone this year  I have only dressed up a few times this year and I have not been outside of my little hometown . If you know me , you already know that I plan weekly on how quickly I can find myself out of my hometown for at least 72 hours . The fact that I cannot and have not been able to leave has been horrible to say the least. I need a vacation. The bright side is that the children are finished with school. We have had virtual awards, and report cards have been mailed out. Thank God! In those last hours I didn’t think we were going to make it . I have had many  pep talks with myself . In a normal very honest tone I said Tesha…you’ve already passed the 1st , 2nd and 3rd grade.  Why are you panicking ? I rolled over out the bed , grabbed me a cup of coffee and finished my last 3 spelling tests.

My children have been inside since March . No stores, no restaurants,   just a lot of riding in cars. I have been quite a few places. Until they decided to open life back up.  My hometown is about 90% open. I was living for those empty streets, empty stores, people rushing to get home by 5 PM. I enjoyed every second of it . And then the order was lifted and my time in the stores were limited . Again. I opted out of running to the stores, I have learned to order and pop my trunk. Curbside! I sure hope that lasts longer than we have anticipated. Such a perk!  I thought that people would have learned a lesson on how to step back, wear a mask, wash your hands and keep a distance. I can honestly say we have not learned NOTHING. I know its the south but we can wait to hug and wave. And I promise you there is enough room in the stores for us to move about freely from a distance. We all aren’t looking for the same things…are we?

I have started back working out . I am having some trouble with keeping a workout schedule. And a food schedule, I’ll go all day with no food and then at night I’ll get hungry  .  Our weather somehow is not cooperating I read a news story that said our sun was on lockdown. Say what now? I was like… Dear God,  the Sun that you created won’t come out …maybe we need to do like we used to when we were kids and just apologize for anything , and everything . I mean this is a problem. And May has been extremely cold. I remember it being rainy last year and a little chilly but its been cold to the point that I was dressed to go somewhere looking like November. I had everything on but a coat. This cannot be good for the ecosystem.

Have you guys been watching the  Last Dance on ESPN. My Dad and Husband have been soaked into this docu -series and I’ve only caught bits and pieces.  I’ll have to say going back and looking behind the scenes  has been amazing but now that I am watching Micheal Jordan not from a perspective of a sports fan but just as a regular person on the couch observing and not really listening…are we not going to address Jordan’s eyes and the amount of puffiness thats going on with them. I’m no doctor but his eyes are always red and yellow.  And puffy. There is a problem and we are not talking about it  . And yeah why didn’t anyone mention Jordan’s wife but we say Carmen Electra. Wasn’t Jordan’s wife as much a part of his narrative as Carmen Electra was a part of the other guy’s story…the one with the blue nails.

If you have not watched Becoming Michelle on Netflix you need to head over there tonight and watch.  I think that she opened the door to allow us to just relate to her. To me she became like a cousin or at this age a friend in my head. Isn’t funny how you become a certain age and then you are just regular friends with older women. Anyway. One thing that stuck out to me is that she had a career before she met her husband and she really took a back seat to his career to become first lady . Which if you are going to take a backseat that’s probably the best backseat to take .  She talked about finding herself as just Michelle and not just First Lady Obama. I say this all the time to women have to find themselves after marriage. You spend your whole life thinking that you are going to change your last name and two become one and then what else. Like what else after that? Oh yea , then a mom to his kids who also get his last name .  Sometimes a woman can lose her entire identity becoming someone else’s spouse. The entire documentary brings to life Michelle in human form.

At this time I usually have plans for the Summer things to do with the children. I honestly have nothing planned.  Like tomorrow morning when we wake up…I have nothing planned . Isn’t that sad? Like absolutely sad. And though things are becoming available to us its just something inside of me thats saying its too soon to engage. Depending on what news station you’re watching we just aren’t all on the same page when it comes down to this pandemic. Should we stay in or should we go out? Will it come back or will it vanish completely? I guess we will know in a few months . Until then I will just use my own discretion. You should use yours too.

The older that I get the more that I realize that sometimes my idea of life and someone else’s idea of life is extremely different.   I may love to talk and you may not . I don’t like cheese but you do. This means absolutely nothing, it only means that you have an opinion , diversity and my own mind .  The problem is when you have an opinion and you want to convert your thoughts to be someone else’s thoughts.  Or you opinion shame  (LOL) another person because of their ideas. Be proud of your opinion and walk in authenticity . Unless you are absolutely wrong and in that case be corrected and move forward. But leave it there . And press forward.  The other thing that has been bothering me is that there are so many people who all want to be the same. Like we are becoming carbon copies of one another.  There is only one you . And because of that you have to embrace the YOU that you’ve become.  I am learning to drive in my own lane at my own speed. It’s not a comfortable position be in , sometimes I’m all alone but there are places I want to see, things I want to do and people that need to meet me. It is a process but when I get there I know I’ll always remain Basically Tesha.